8 MP3 Audio clips from Super Troopers (2001)

PLAY ALL 8 CLIPS

Clip 1

Farva is taking one of his many meal breaks in a local burger joint.

Server

Welcome to Dimpus. Can I take your order?

Farva

Give me a, uh, double bacon cheeseburger.

Server

[Using the microphone to put the order through]

Double baco-cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Cook

Roger.

Farva

What the hell's that all about? He gonna spit in it now?

Server

Nah. I was just tellin' him that so he makes it good.

[Returning to the microphone]

Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Farva

Yeah, thanks.

Cook

Roger, holding the spit.

Clip 2

Thorny and Rabbit are engaged in a traffic stop.

Thorny

You smell something, Rabbit?

Rabbit

[Sniffs the air]

Fear.

Clip 3

To enliven an otherwise dull day, Mac and Foster decide to amuse themselves with The Cat Game. Larry Johnson is their chosen victim.

Mac

All right, how about 'Cat Game?'

Foster

Cat Game? What's the, what's the record?

Mac

Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.

Foster

Ten? Starting right 'meow?'

Larry

Uh, sorry about that...

Foster

All right meow. Hand over your license and registration. Your registration? Hurry up meow.

Larry

Sorry.

Foster

Is there something funny here boy?

Larry

No. No, no.

Foster

Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson? All right meow, where were we?

Larry

I'm sorry, are you saying meow?

Foster

Am I saying meow?

Larry

I, I, I thought...

Foster

Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going? Meow what is so damn funny?

Larry

I could have sworn you said meow.

Foster

Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? Well do you see me eating mice? You stop laughing right meow!

Larry

Yes sir.

Foster

Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one.

Larry

But...

Foster

No buts meow. It's the law. Not so funny meow, is it? Meow!

Clip 4

The team play an elaborate prank on a trio of stoners they've pulled over. Mac is disguised as a Hillbilly and the boys are locked in a cruiser.

Doper

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

Mac

[Emerging from the truck stop, firing a gun into the air]

Wooooooo!

Doper

Oh, sh*t.

Mac

Wooooooo!

Doper

He killed the cops.

Mac

You boys like Mexico? Yeeeeeehaaaaah!

Clip 5

Thorny and his wife are harbouring the German nympho-couple and this leads to some questionable antics.

Thorny's Wife

Mark, can't they just stay a little longer?

Thorny

All right. Who wants a moustache ride?

German Woman

Ooh, I vont one. I vont one.

German Man

I do!

Clip 6

Times may be bad, but the team can always find the funny in any situation.

Captain O'Hagan

What'd you find out at the weigh station?

Mac

My cruiser weights sixteen thousand kilograms.

Thorny

They can't lump us in with that fu*king martian.

Captain O'Hagan

We're all in the same boat, fellas.

Mac

But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.

Thorny

Yeah, I mean his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster

Which makes them not shenanigans at all really.

Mac

Evil shenanigans.

Captain O'Hagan

I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says shenanigans.

Mac

Hey, Farva. What's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy sh*t on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

Farva

You mean Shenanigans?

Group

Ooooh!

Clip 7

Some of the team are amusing themselves by firing rounds at each other wearing a bulletproof cup.

Mac

All right, you're up. Now don't get puke on it.

Rabbit

Does it hurt?

Mac

Now you're gonna feel a little pinch.

Foster

Lookin' good, Rabbit. Now don't move.

Mac

Hey, Cap.

Rabbit

Hey, Captain.

Captain O'Hagan

Bulletproof cup, huh? I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day the rookie got naked.

[He takes the gun from MAC and fires it, immediately smashing a window]

And we also used blanks. You're a sick mother fu*ker, Mac.

Mac

Thanks, Chief.

Clip 8

With the aid of a voice changer and a disguise, Ursula plays a cruel trick on Foster who believes he's about to be ass-raped.

Ursula

Freeze, mother fu*ker!

Foster

Oh God. Please don't shoot me, I'm naked.

Ursula

Drop your coat and grab your toes.

Foster

What?

Ursula

I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes.

Foster

Oh this isn't happening, I, I'm a police officer. Ursula, help!

Ursula

Baby? I'm gonna butter your bread.