32 MP3 Audio clips from Season 1 of The Inbetweeners (2008)

PLAY ALL 100 CLIPS IN THE RANDOMISER™

If you're going to challenge Phil Gilbert's opinion on something, you can expect to be thoroughly and sarcastically destroyed.

Will McKenzie

Mr Gilbert, you seem an intelligent man -

Phil Gilbert

Oh, I seem intelligent. How lovely of you to say.

Will McKenzie

No, I... I just meant -

Phil Gilbert

You know, I've long since been insecure about my capacity for learning, so it's nice to have it ratified by you, a child.

Will McKenzie

What I meant was, do you really think these badges that single us out as new kids are a good idea?

Phil Gilbert

Yes. And if you have any more views on it, I suggest you join the school debating society. Obviously, you'll have to start one first.

When you walk around a comprehensive school wearing a badge which gives your name and denotes you as a new kid, you can expect some feedback from your peers.

Kid

Ooh, I'm Will.

Will McKenzie

Yup, thanks very much.

Kid

Ooh, hello, Will.

Will McKenzie

Yes, very nice, thank you.

Kid

Nice badge, d*ckhead.

Will McKenzie

Lovely. Fantastic. You must be what, Year Eight?

Kid

Ooh, I'm Will, I've got a spacker badge!

Will McKenzie

"Spacker"? Super. That's not even on the badge!

Kid

Briefcase wa*ker!

Will McKenzie

Another baggage-themed insult. Thanks, Mum. Thanks a bunch.

If you're looking for advice on all things sexual, do yourself a favour and don't ask Jay Cartwright.

Jay Cartwright

I'm just really good at shagging now. That's all I'm saying.

Simon Cooper

Bollocks!

Neil Sutherland

Well, how do you do it best, then?

Jay Cartwright

Just deep. Try to get really deep, right up to the balls.

Neil Sutherland

And do you put the balls in?

Jay Cartwright

What?!

Neil Sutherland

I've heard you've got to put the balls, really, to make it work.

Jay Cartwright

Yeah, can do. Some girls like it, some don't.

If you're going to make a self-deprecating joke about the amount of time you spend masturbating, try not to do it in front of a girl you'd give you right nut to be with.

Simon Cooper

I might not go to this thing tonight. I'm pretty knackered.

Neil Sutherland

We've just had ten weeks off!

Jay Cartwright

Yeah, but he's just spent the last ten weeks wa*king three times a day. That's why he's knackered.

Simon Cooper

Yeah, that's it. I've had two-hundred and ten wa*ks and my c*ck's like a Peperami.

Carli D'Amato

Whose c*ck's like what?

Simon Cooper

Carli! Oh, it's just, um, nothing.

Being a teenaged boy is a nightmare. Your penis seems to have a mind of its own and it stirs at the worst possible moments!

Jay Cartwright

Are you mental?! She's so fit! Why don't you just walk to class with her?

Simon Cooper

I just don't feel like it.

Jay Cartwright

Oh, what's wrong? Did you get a hard-on 'cos the pretty girl spoke to you?

Simon Cooper

Can you fu*k off?

Jay Cartwright

Hang on, you haven't actually got a stalk on, have you? Oh, my God, he's got a boner!

Simon Cooper

Jay, please...!

Jay Cartwright

Oi! Simon's got a boner!

[The group all laugh and shout "Boner!"]

Do people still buy briefcases? Do they still use briefcases? Do they even still make briefcases? Well, apparently so. People like Will do, anyway.

Will McKenzie

Hi, Simon.

Simon Cooper

All right? This is Will.

Will McKenzie

Nice to meet you.

Jay Cartwright

Ooh, briefcase.

Neil Sutherland

Yeah, briefcase!

Will McKenzie

Yes, it's a briefcase.

Jay / Simon / Neil

[Camp voices]

Ooh, briefcase!

The boys spend way too long discussing whether each of them would fu*k Neil's mum.

Simon Cooper

Is that your mum?

Will McKenzie

I told her not to come and pick me up.

Neil Sutherland

She's fit!

Jay Cartwright

Yeah, I'd fu*k her!

Will McKenzie

Thanks very much.

Jay Cartwright

No, but I would, though. Wouldn't you?

Will McKenzie

Hmm. Well, as she's my mum... no?

Jay Cartwright

But if she wasn't?

Will McKenzie

She is, though, so...

Simon Cooper

But what he's saying is, if she wasn't your mum, would you fu*k her?

Will McKenzie

Oh, are we still doing this?

Neil Sutherland

So you would fu*k her?

Will McKenzie

No!

Jay Cartwright

Look, I just wanna know, if you get down between her legs, spread them...

Will McKenzie

Can we please stop talking about my mother's vagina!

The problem with going out drinking when you're not legally old enough to drink is that you might not get served. And that's social suicide if it happens in public, let me tell you.

Will McKenzie

My plan to make friends was working. Little by little, I was wearing them down.

Hey, guys.

Jay Cartwright

Not him!

Simon Cooper

Oh, he's all right.

Will McKenzie

Sorry, I'm late.

Jay Cartwright

Fingering your mum?

Will McKenzie

Let me think... um, no. No, I wasn't.

Neil Sutherland

Right, so what's the plan?

Jay Cartwright

We don't need a plan. We go in there, buy some drinks and then wait for the gash to form an orderly queue.

Will McKenzie

Sorry, did he actually say "gash"?

Jay Cartwright

It'll be fine. Relax.

Simon Cooper

There is nothing relaxing about this. If we don't get served, I will be humiliated in front of the girl I've lusted after since she was eight.

Neil Sutherland

You fancy eight-year-olds?!

Simon Cooper

No, Neil... Our families are friends, we were both eight.

Neil Sutherland

Yeah, but you still fancied an eight-year-old.

Jay Cartwright

Come on. I've got ID. We'll be fine. You coming then, new boy?

Will McKenzie

I do have a name.

Jay Cartwright

Sorry. You coming then, briefcase mong?

Will McKenzie

Brilliant. After you.

Why is that every time Will opens his mouth to speak, he ends up giving his so-called friends the opportunity to doubt his sexual orientation?

Neil Sutherland

What's up?

Will McKenzie

Well, think back, Neil. Er, last time you saw us, before you legged it, a Erisbee was heading towards a disabled girl's face.

Neil Sutherland

Oh, did it hit her in the face, then?

Will McKenzie

Bingo!

Neil Sutherland

Was the girl in the wheelchair all right?

Will McKenzie

I don't want to talk about it. I've lost a perfectly good Frisbee Aero B Pro -

Simon Cooper

- is the gayest sentence ever.

Jay. You can always trust him to say, and do the most inappropriate things imaginable, usually at someone else's expense. And usually, that person is Simon.

Jay Cartwright

It's Carli's mum, innit? Oi!

Simon Cooper

Jay, please don't. She'll recognise me.

Jay Cartwright

He wants to suck your Carli's tits!

Is Neil's father "bent"? Possibly, possibly not. And does it really matter if he's gay? No, of course not. Not to us. But to Jay, Simon, Will and even Neil, it's a hot topic.

Simon Cooper

Have you spent all our money on fancy fu*king crisps? You twat.

Jay Cartwright

What the fu*k's this?

Will McKenzie

Drambuie.

Neil Sutherland

What's Drambuie?

Will McKenzie

It's a sort of whisky-based liqueur.

Neil Sutherland

What's a liqueur?

Jay Cartwright

It's what benders drink.

Neil Sutherland

Well, why have we got that, then?

Simon Cooper

'Cos we're heading back to yours, and it's your dad's favourite drink.

Neil Sutherland

Oi, my dad's not bent.

Simon Cooper

He is a bit, though.

Neil Sutherland

He's fu*king not.

Jay Cartwright

Right, let's look at the evidence. One, your mum left him because he loves c*ck.

Neil Sutherland

That's not true, look... she was in a difficult place!

Will McKenzie

In bed with a bender.

Simon Cooper

Your dad, who is a bender.

Jay Cartwright

Two, he wears tight denim shorts to do the gardening.

Simon Cooper

And the only night he goes out all week is Wednesday and that's to play badminton!

Jay Cartwright

[LAUGHS]

The boys have purchased copious quantities of alcohol and set up camp at Neil's house to enjoy their day of bunking off school.

Jay Cartwright

♪Carli's fanny on your face,
 on your face,
 on your face -

Kevin Sutherland

NEIL! What the HELL is going on? Eurgh, this place smells like a brewery and not a nice one. Jay, there is always trouble when you're around, but Will, I'm especially surprised at you. I'm so sorry, Steve.

Will McKenzie

Oh, p*ss off!

Kevin Sutherland

What? Don't talk to me like that in my own house!

Will McKenzie

Oh, I'm so sorry, my manners... p*ss off, please.

Kevin Sutherland

I've had enough of your lip.

Will McKenzie

Oh, you'd like my lip, wouldn't you? Right round your bell-end, if Mister Chippy doesn't get there first. What's he going to knock up? A closet for you to hide in, you BUMDER?

I'm not sure where Jay's logic on this one comes from. And I also question whether Carli would indeed be "frothing at the gash" under these circumstances.

Jay Cartwright

Right, vodka, whisky, and a load of Créme de menthe. When she sees you after this, she'll be frothing at the gash.

Carli. The girl that Simon has lusted after since they were both eight. He's finally got her all alone. But, sadly, he's imbibed a little too much alcohol and this is going to end very, very badly.

Simon Cooper

You know why I'm here. And I know why I'm here. And you know why I'm here. Kiss me.

Carli D'Amato

Simon, you know I've got a boyfriend.

Simon Cooper

Just finger yourself in front of me.

Carli D'Amato

Jesus, Simon!

Simon Cooper

They do it in Caravan Club. Come on, I know you want to.

Carli D'Amato

Well, I don't want to, so...

Simon Cooper

Yeah, you do. You...

[Vomits violently]

Carli D'Amato

Simon, are you all right?

Simon Cooper

Oh, Christ.

[Vomits violently again]

It's been quite a day. Bunking off school, injuring a disabled girl, purchasing alcohol illegally, defacing driveways... need I go on?

Pamela Cooper

Right. Sit down, you two.

Will McKenzie (Narrating)

Sometimes in life you have to sit down, and take your punishment like a man. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.

Alan Cooper

Well... you've had quite a day off. You've lied to your mothers, bought alcohol illegally, abused Neil's dad, stole my suit, defaced the pavement outside Carli's. Am I missing anything?

Will McKenzie

We also hit a spastic with a Frisbee.

What kind of driving instructor allows his student to strike a parked vehicle and then drive away without leaving a note? Simon's driving instructor. That's who.

[SIMON, whilst attempting to park, stalls the vehicle]

Simon Cooper

Bollocks.

Jay / Will / Neil

[Laugh]

Simon Cooper

Shut up!

Jay Cartwright

Si, it's me nan. She wants to know if you want some help parking.

Driving Instructor

Steady on, boys. It's not easy for Simon. Okay, let's try again.

[This time, SIMON reverses into the car behind him]

Simon Cooper

Oh, sh*t!

Driving Instructor

Oh, right... Okay. Off we go, Simon. Into first.

Simon Cooper

Shouldn't you leave a note?

Driving Instructor

No, we're driving off. Quickly now. Drive! Drive!

Neil works at Thorpe Park and can get the boys free tickets. So, all that Simon needs to do now is to pass his driving test and they're on a road trip to Surrey.

Neil Sutherland

Why don't you come to Thorpe Park? There's always loads of birds there.

Will McKenzie

Oh, my God, yes! Thorpe Park!

Neil Sutherland

I can get you free tickets.

Will McKenzie

How?

Neil Sutherland

I work there.

Jay Cartwright

Mopping up sick?

Neil Sutherland

Some sick.

Simon Cooper

How come you never mentioned you work at Thorpe Park before?

Neil Sutherland

I used to work at Asda and you never asked about that.

Will McKenzie

This is perfect. Simon passes his test, drives us to Thorpe Park, Neil gets us freebies, and I get to ride -

Jay Cartwright

A man's c*ck in the bushes.

Will McKenzie

- the Nemesis Inferno.

Neil works at Thorpe Park. What he actually does is get naked and climb inside a monkey costume to entertain small children. Sounds all kinds of wrong, doesn't it?

Simon Cooper

What's that?

[CUT TO: Someone in a monkey costume is having some sort of fit]

Assistant

Are you all right, Mr. Monkey?

Mr. Monkey

It hurts!

Will McKenzie

Does he need help?

Mr. Monkey

Help! Help! Not up my nose! Not my nose!

Jay Cartwright

He's gone mental. Poor fu*ker.

[Mr. Monkey removes his head to reveal Neil inside the costume]

Neil Sutherland

A wasp! Wasp!

Simon Cooper

Neil!

Neil Sutherland

Wasp! In me costume!

Will / Simon / Jay

[Laugh]

[CUT TO: CHANGING ROOM where NEIL is stripping off the Mr. Monkey costume]

Neil Sutherland

Oh God, that hurts. Stupid bloody wasps!

Simon Cooper

Neil, I need to speak to you about your sister's boyfriend.

[NEIL drops the costume to the floor revealing that he is, in fact, naked under it]

Jay Cartwright

Oh, Jesus, Neil!

Simon Cooper

Christ, you're naked under there.

Jay Cartwright

Eurgh!

Will McKenzie

I really don't think it's a good idea to be naked if you're working with kids.

Neil Sutherland

But Mr Monkey isn't naked. He's got a waistcoat and a hat.

Will McKenzie

No, not Mr Monkey, Neil. You.

Neil Sutherland

But I'm in the suit.

Will McKenzie

Yes, naked.

Neil Sutherland

Look, I'm in agony here. Put some of that cream on my stings.

Will McKenzie

God, all right, then.

Neil Sutherland

The worst ones are on my back. And arse.

Jay Cartwright

Fu*k that! Look, you lot can stay here and finger Neil's arse if you wanna, but I'm off to find the clunge.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe would, I'm sure, be pleased to know that Jay thinks he's such a stud that he'd be able to make her come all over his face. The boy is clearly still a virgin.

Simon Cooper

Wendy, do you have any more beer?

Wendy

I think there's a box of my dad's small beers left, but don't drink it all 'cos Charlotte Hinchcliffe and her mates will be here soon.

Neil Sutherland

Yeah, right, like she's gonna come.

Will McKenzie

Why wouldn't she come?

Simon Cooper

She's fit and popular, therefore she won't be coming.

Jay Cartwright

Who won't be coming?

Simon Cooper

Charlotte Hinchcliffe.

Jay Cartwright

Oh, I would make her come... all over my face!

It's that infamous "Friend" scene. Thumbs up, he's just some guy from that trial at West Ham that never happened.

Jay's Friend

Jay, I'm off, mate. See you soon.

Jay Cartwright

All right then, mate.

Simon Cooper

Who was that?

Jay Cartwright

Just a friend.

Neil Sutherland

You've made a new friend?

Simon Cooper

Oh, a friend! Since when have you had other friends? Ooh, friend!

Jay Cartwright

I knew him from when we were doing trials at West Ham. He's moved into the area. He's just some guy.

Simon Cooper

Some guy?

Will McKenzie

Oh, he's just some guy.

Simon Cooper

Oh, he's just some guy.

Will McKenzie

That's all it is.

Simon Cooper

Just a friend from when Jay had trials at West Ham... that never happened.

Will McKenzie

Don't forget the thumbs up.

Simon Cooper

Oh, friend! Oh, new friend.

Neil Sutherland

Friend!

Simon Cooper

Please be my friend.

Will McKenzie

Oh, friend.

There's nothing worse than picturing your parents having sex. Oh, no. Hang on... there is. Hearing about it is worse. And seeing it? You might as well just kill yourself.

Alan Cooper

Yeah, when I was your age, I used to love house parties. Getting off with some bird, one of the upstairs rooms underneath the coats.

Simon Cooper

Dad, can we not?

Alan Cooper

In fact, I think I, ah, met your mum at a house party, Simon.

Simon Cooper

Jesus Christ.

Alan Cooper

Ooh, she was wild. And after that, she didn't just like keeping it upstairs. No, we did it in the kitchen, in the garage... I think we notched one up in the greenhouse once.

Simon Cooper

Right, stop the car, I'm gonna walk home.

Alan Cooper

Oh, come on, Simon! Me and your mum like doing it too, you know.

Neil / Jay / Will

[Laugh raucously]

Neil Sutherland

They do it in your house, Si!

Simon Cooper

Dad! You're so embarrassing.

Jay Cartwright

Your mum loves it!

Jay is a bad influence. Here's Will, pretending that he isn't a virgin but without having first got his story straight. Before he knows it, he's admitting having imaginary with an eleven-year old.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

Does it intimidate you when I talk about sex?

Will McKenzie

No. Not at all. I'm just interested in London restaurants and stuff.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

You have had sex before, haven't you?

Will McKenzie

Yes. Yes. Loads. I've done it with two different girls.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

I've had eleven lovers already.

Will McKenzie

Five girls, actually. Sorry, it was five, not two.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

All right, stud. Who were they, then?

Will McKenzie

A girl I met in Australia.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

Australia?

Will McKenzie

Yeah, I went there on holiday.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

When was that?

Will McKenzie

2005.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

So you were thirteen?

Will McKenzie

I was very mature for my age.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

Older woman, then, was she?

Will McKenzie

She was a couple of years younger.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

So she was eleven?

Will McKenzie

Christ, no! I mean, yes, I suppose she must have been. Jesus, eleven.

Charlotte Hinchcliffe

And what about the other four? Had they reached puberty when you'd slept with them?

Will McKenzie

God, yes, they were very recent.

The boys just can't leave it alone. Jay has a new friend. A football friend. And they take the p*ss at every conceivable opportunity.

Jay Cartwright

You coming round mine tonight, play Pro Evo?

Simon Cooper

Depends. Will your friend the footballer be there?

Neil Sutherland

Ah, friend. Football friend!

Will McKenzie

Best friends for ever and ever.

Simon Cooper

Oh, friend.

Jay Cartwright

Fu*k off, all right, he's not my friend.

Simon Cooper

All right. You're touchy about your friends.

When the school bully has put a bucket over your head and instructed you not, under any circumstances, to grass on him... what do you do?

Phil Gilbert

Cooper, Sutherland, Cartwright, and who have we under here?

Will McKenzie

McKenzie, sir.

Phil Gilbert

Let me guess, no-one saw how this happened. I suppose you tripped.

Will McKenzie

No, sir, what happened was...

Phil Gilbert

Sorry, McKenzie, you're not about to grass, are you?

Will McKenzie

Sir?

Phil Gilbert

If there's one thing no-one likes, it's a grass. So I will ask you how this happened and you will reply, "I tripped."

Will McKenzie

But sir, if no-one reported crimes, the justice system would collapse and...

Phil Gilbert

I'll ask you again. How did this happen?

Will McKenzie

I tripped.

Phil Gilbert

[Tuts]

Clumsy.

Receiving a text from a girl you've never met and that you weren't expecting is something most people could cope with without the support of friends. But not Simon. No, not him.

Simon Cooper

I just got a text from this girl at the Caravan Club.

Jay Cartwright

Yeah, is it Becky?

Simon Cooper

Yeah.

Jay Cartwright

I texted her your photo. What's she say?

Simon Cooper

"Hi, Simon, my name's Becky. Liked your photo. Jay says you've got a cool car as well. See you later." Smiley face.

Will McKenzie

She's seen a picture of you. Let's get back one of her.

Neil Sutherland

With her tits out.

Will McKenzie

Might be a bit early in the relationship for that, Neil.

Jay Cartwright

She is filthy.

Will McKenzie

Still a bit early, I reckon.

Simon Cooper

What shall I write?

Jay Cartwright

"Spread 'em. I'll be there in half an hour."

Will McKenzie

Or, "So lovely to hear from you, it would be a pleasure to meet up."

Jay Cartwright

"P.S., I'm a poofter."

Will McKenzie

Don't put the P.S.

The thing about caravans is... they're sh*t. They clog up the roads, they're uncomfortable and people have to eat within three feet of the chemical toilet. That's NOT a holiday.

Mrs. Cartwright

There you go, boys. Some lovely salad to go with your sausages.

Will McKenzie

Thanks, Mrs Cartwright.

Mrs. Cartwright

It's my pleasure.

[In the background of this conversation, we can hear TERRY CARTWRIGHT noisily defacating in the caravan's toilet]

Will McKenzie

This is really delicious, Mrs Cartwright.

Neil Sutherland

Cool, crisps. Have you got any ketchup?

[The toilet flushes and TERRY CARTWRIGHT emerges from what is essentially a cupboard next to the dining table]

Simon Cooper

Jesus Christ.

Will McKenzie

My eyes are burning.

Terry Cartwright is never going to win Father of the Year. It's little wonder that Jay is such a Walter Mitty character when his male role model is constantly putting him down.

Terry Cartwright

Jay's harpooned himself a whale.

Jay Cartwright

Give it a rest, Dad. I already told you, it's not like that.

Terry Cartwright

Yeah, and I told you not to be so fussy and to get stuck in. You're more likely to get somewhere with a fatso, 'cos they're grateful for the attention. Even from a loser like you.

Jay Cartwright

Dad.

Terry Cartwright

They say any port in a storm, and she was the size of a fu*king port! I know what you're up to. You think, cos she's so massive, she'll count as two shags. Well, she doesn't!

Jay Cartwright

I get plenty of girls.

Terry Cartwright

No, you bloody don't. And even if you did,what could you do with that thing? It's like a McDonald's chip!

Jay Cartwright

Dad.

Terry Cartwright

You definitely take after your mum in the c*ck-size department. She ain't got one either!

Jay Cartwright

Dad, can you just leave me alone for once?

Terry Cartwright

Ooh! All right, all right. Bloody hell, he's just like his mum. Make one little joke and he has a sh*t fit!

Jay Cartwright

Fu*k this.

Why do I always end up stood at a urinal next to a man like Terry Cartwright? A man who thinks it's socially acceptable to fart whilst in close proximity to other people?

[TERRY farts loudly]

Terry Cartwright

Better out than in.

Will McKenzie

I'm going to go now, then.

[TERRY continue to fart]

The boys are returning to civilisation from the hell that was the caravan park when they start to notice that their seats are wet. Is it rain? Is it beer? Condensation? No. It's Neil's spunk.

Simon Cooper

My seat's a bit wet.

Will McKenzie

Mine is, too.

Jay Cartwright

Yeah, it's wet here as well.

Simon Cooper

Neil, did you wet yourself in my new car?

Neil Sutherland

It's not really new.

Simon Cooper

Did you wet yourself?

Neil Sutherland

No. But I did have a bird back in here.

Simon Cooper

You fu*ked a girl in my car?!

Neil Sutherland

No, it's too small. Did a lot of fingering, though. She wa*ked me off a few times.

Simon / Will / Jay

Ohhhh!

Simon Cooper

God!

Will McKenzie

Get me out of here!

Simon Cooper

Neil! Bloody hell!

Jay Cartwright

Disgusting.

Simon Cooper

Thanks, Neil!

Jay Cartwright

Who was she, then?

Neil Sutherland

Some sort of punky redhead. She was nice.

Will McKenzie

She was mine! Oh, God.

Simon Cooper

Oh, sh*t. We can't stay here.

Jay Cartwright

Well, I'm not getting back in the spunkmobile.

Simon Cooper

Clean it up, Neil.

Neil Sutherland

Why?

Simon Cooper

Because you have spunked on my seats!

It's not very often that Jay takes a verbal beating. He's usually quick with a stinging line. But Will has beaten him to the punch on this occasion and he's reeling from the punch.

Will McKenzie

People don't get fingered for a bet, Jay. With the possible exception of your sister.

Jay Cartwright

Take that back.

Will McKenzie

Actually, I do take it back. Your mum, on the other hand, she'd probably get fingered for a packet of biscuits.

Simon / Neil

Oh!

Simon Cooper

Oh, no!

Neil Sutherland

Silence!

Simon Cooper

Oh, no!

It is NEVER acceptable to address a teacher by their first name. Inside or outside of school, the rule is the same. Don't do it. Even if they want you to. Which Mr. Gilbert clearly doesn't.

Phil Gilbert

I'll leave you in the hands of the chairman of the organising committee, God help you, William McKenzie.

Will McKenzie

Thanks, Phil. Now...

Phil Gilbert

Sorry?

Will McKenzie

Thanks for that, Phil.

Phil Gilbert

Phil?!

Will McKenzie

Oh. It's just cos the dance is outside of school time so I assumed...

Phil Gilbert

Well, you assumed wrong, Will. Very wrong.

Will McKenzie

Sorry.

Phil Gilbert

Right, then... say my name properly.

Will McKenzie

Mr Gilbert.

Phil Gilbert

Say thank you.

Will McKenzie

Thank you.

Phil Gilbert

Say, "Thank you, Mr Gilbert".

Will McKenzie

Thank you, Mr Gilbert.

Phil Gilbert

Better.

Simon might only have said this to Carli once, but she's not about to let him forget it. In fact, she wants the entire school to know what he said.

Carli D'Amato

Why has the music stopped?

Simon Cooper

I stopped it. Because... I need to say that... I just wanted to say to you that...

Carli D'Amato

Are you going to ask me to finger myself again?

Simon Cooper

No, God, no! No.