5 MP3 Audio clips from The Invention of Lying (2009)

PLAY ALL 5 CLIPS

Clip 1

The opening credits of the movie features this little collage demonstrating how the world is unfamiliar with the concept of lying and people always tell the truth, no matter how uncomfortable.

Man

Look, I'm not coming into work today. No... I'm not sick. I just hate it there.

Woman 1

Ohhhhh, your baby is so ugly. It's like a little rat.

Woman 2

Wow! I just took one of the biggest poops of my whole life.

Clip 2

Mark arrives at Anna's apartment for their date. Anna opens the door and is painfully honest about what she's been doing and her feeling towards the date ahead.

[MARK knocks on ANNA'S door and she opens it]

Anna

Hi. You're early. I was just masturbating.

Mark

That makes me think of your vagina. I'm Mark. How are you?

Anna

Little frustrated at the moment. Also equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight.

Mark

Sure.

Anna

I'm Anna. Come on in.

Clip 3

Even the waiters are painfully honest. Not sure I've ever been greeted like this in a restaurant.

Waiter

Very embarrassed I work here.

Mark

Hi.

Waiter

Hi.

Anna

Hello.

Waiter

And you're very pretty. That only makes this worse. Can I get you two started on some drinks?

Mark

I'll have a Budweiser, please.

Anna

I'll have a mango margarita and I'll probably have three more drinks before the end of the night.

Waiter

Your sister?

Mark

No.

Waiter

Daughter?

Mark

No.

Waiter

She's way out of your league.

Mark

I know. Thank you.

Clip 4

Brad Kessler. Handsome. Brilliant writer. Complete d*ck.

Brad

Oh and Shelley thinks you're an overweight homosexual.

Shelley

Nope. I never said that.

Mark

Thank you.

Shelley

I said 'fat faggot'. Fatty, fat faggot.

Brad

I stand corrected.

Mark

And I was upset with overweight homosexual.

Brad

Doesn't matter. Either way you're a dumpy little queer. Try to enjoy your loser life.

Clip 5

Mark and Greg (who's drink driving) have been pulled over by the police. Mark decides to try going on the charm offensive.

Mark

Hello, Officer. How are you?

Officer

Well, I'm relieved you're not a couple of black guys. There's a much higher probability I'd be jumpy, shoot you without provocation and then I could lose my weapon.

Mark

That's good.