12 MP3 Audio clips from Good Boys (2019)

PLAY ALL 12 CLIPS

Clip 1

It's the conversation NO boy wants to have with his father. It's enough to make your knees cringe!

Max's Father

I remember bringing you home from the hospital like it was yesterday.

Max

[Growls]

Max's Father

Now, here you are... sexually masturbating yourself...

Max

No I effing wasn't.

Max's Father

Hey, it's cool, fool. It's like you got a new toy. Best toy in the world and you just... wanna keep playin' with it. No, no, no. I just want you to know I'm proud of you.

Clip 2

When Lucas gets given his favourite meal AND his favourite drink for dinner, he has no way of knowing that his parents are just trying to soften the blow.

Lucas

Lasagne AND soda? Don't tell my parents you gave me this.

[His parents laugh]

Lucas' Mum

We're getting a divorce.

Clip 3

Everybody wants to be like Soren. The Beanbag Boys especially. Rumours abound about the legendary Soren. Including this one.

Thor

Soren's so cool. I heard he beat up Derek Buckman and blow-jobbed his sister.

Max

He blow-jobbed his own sister?

Thor

No. He blow-jobbed Derek's sister. Fu*king legend.

Clip 4

The boys are considering launching the drone on a mission to discover how to kiss before Soren's kissing party.

Lucas

She'll love you for who you are.

Thor

Yeah... a sh*tty kisser. Remember the porn from earlier? The guy didn't even know how to kiss. He was just licking that woman's a**hole. You wanna kiss an a**hole, Max?

Max

Nope.

Clip 5

The boys are on the phone to Hannah and Lily. Max is playing it tough. He needs that drone back and he won't take no for an answer.

Max

This is Max from earlier. Meet us at the playground across from John Adams tomorrow at 7.40am. Bring the drone and don't fu*k with the Beanbag Boys.

Lucas

That was tough.

Thor

Very tough.

Max

I kinda got a boner talking to those girls.

Hannah

We're still on the phone.

[Panic ensues]

Clip 6

The boys have accidentally ended up in possession of Hannah and Lily's MDMA. They need to get rid of it. Pronto.

Max

I need to get rid of these drugs

[Draws arm back to throw the pot]

Lucas

What are you DOING?!

Max

Getting rid of the drugs. I'm just going to throw them in the stream.

Lucas

It can contaminate the water.

Thor

Well, then we could throw it in the forest.

Lucas

It's a sex drug. What if a fox eats it and tries to fu*k a squirrel? It'll kill him.

Clip 7

The boys are selling their rare Ascension card and have arranged to meet "Claude" at Thor's house. Thor has found some "weapons" in his parents' bedroom.

Lucas

I still don't get why we need weapons.

Max

He could be a paedophile.

Lucas

He can't molest all three of us.

Max

All he needs is one.

Lucas

[Picks up a pack of anal beads]

A-nal Beads?

Thor

AKA... Nunchucks, mother-fu*ker!

[He begins to swing them around]

Yeah!

Max

It's not a toy!

[Hits himself in the face]

Thor

Aargh!

Lucas

[Picking up the beads and smelling them]

They smell like sh*t!

Clip 8

"Claude" has arrived. The boys are taking no chances. He could be a predator. They're armed (and Max is inadvertently wearing a gimp mask).

Claude

Hello. Uh, I'm looking for Lucas.

Lucas

That's me.

Claude

I'm Claude.

Max

Hey.

Lucas

That's my Mom back there.

[The boys have propped the "CPR" doll at a desk]

Claude

Hiyah!

Lucas

Let's cut the sh*t. Are you a paedophile?

Claude

What? No!

Max

Lucas. If you were a paedophile standing in front of three single boys, would you admit it?

Lucas

Probably not.

Max

Well then why would he?

Claude

Oh, come on! Do I look like a paedophile?

Boys [in chorus]

Yes. Absolutely.

Claude

That's not fair.

Thor

You look more like a paedophile than anyone I've ever seen.

Claude

Look. I'm not a paedophile. I'm a cool guy.

Lucas

Fine. You can come in. But please take your shoes off.

Claude

You know, I've searched the world for this...

Clip 9

Claude has additionally agreed to buy the "CPR" doll. She's very life-like. And has a look of constant surprise on her face. If you know what I mean... Yeah. She's a sex doll.

Claude

Yeah... what can you tell me about her backstory? Where's she supposed to be from? She seems quite exotic. Okay. Listen carefully because I'll make this offer only once. Four hundred bucks to take her off your hands.

Max

No. We need five-fifty US.

Claude

Fu*k off! What? That's my entire allowance!

Max

Listen, Claude. Let's just cut the bullsh*t. I'm the son of a business woman and I think we both know if you didn't want to buy the doll, you would've left already. Stop treating us like kids. We know how things work. So do you wanna buy the CPR doll or not?

[Cut to CLAUDE struggling up the garden path cradling the anatomically correct "CPR" doll in his arms]

Claude

Fools. I'd have paid a thousand.

Max

Anyone else feel like he's gonna fu*k that doll?

Clip 10

Lucas, in an effort to get away from Lily, has just crashed into the side of a delivery truck. He's hurt. And the boys need to think fast on their feet to get away.

Lucas

Ow. Ohhh....

Lily

Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay?

Delivery Guy

What the hell happened?

Max

We were running away from our babysitter because she was trying to touch our penises.

Lily

What? That is not true.

Max

Yes it is.

Lily

I wasn't.

Max

Yes, you were.

[LILY runs away]

Clip 11

The boys are trying to replace the MDMA that the girls want in exchange for a new drone. Sadly, Lucas has just blurted out who the drugs are for and Benji is not happy about it.

Benji

You can tell Hannah that if she wants Molly... she can suck... my d*ck.

Max

You shouldn't talk about women like that. The only time she should suck your d*ck is when she gives you consent.

Benji

[Pointing at MAX]

You can suck my d*ck and

[pointing at THOR]

you can suck my d*ck, too.

Lucas

What about me? I'm just gonna sit here? We're the Beanbag Boys. We do everything together.

Clip 12

The day has ended in a mass argument with each boy trying to "out-mean" his peers.

[An old, bearded guy is watching the argument and laughing]

Lucas

WHAT THE FU*K ARE YOU LOOKING AT, GANDALF?

Max

[Crying]

You guys don't understand sh*t. I have hormones flowing through my body making me do crazy things. Do you even know what it feels like to want to rub up against a tree... all the time?