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Fun with Dick and Jane
© 2005 Columbia Pictures
When Dick Harper is made Vice President of Communications for Globodyne, he has no reason to suspect that the company is in trouble and that he's the sacrificial lamb to the proverbial slaughter. Bankrupt and potentially homeless, Dick and his wife Jane need to come up with a plan to save their endangered family and turn to crime as a means to makes ends meet.
ADDED: | CLIPS: 4
WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!
PLAY ALL 4 CLIPS |
Clip 1 |
Dick fits the family dog with a collar advertised as providing a gentle electric shock to dissuade barking. It's a little more powerful than his trainer had billed it to be. |
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[Dog barks] |
Jane |
You sure about this? |
Dick |
The trainer said it's just a minor annoyance. He said it just reminds him to be a little less vocal. |
[D*CK fits the collar and opens the front door. The dog barks, blue sparks emanate from the collar and the dog is thrown two feet into the air] |
Clip 2 |
It's time the newly-promoted Vice President of Communications met the Chief Executive Officer, Jack McCallister. |
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Jack |
Dick! Hey, call me Jack. |
Dick |
[Shaking JACK'S hand] |
Likewise. With... my name. Dick, I mean. |
Jack |
Yeah. |
Clip 3 |
Dick has had to get a job at the local Kostmart and his first job is to pee into a cup for a routine drugs test. He's stood at the urinal with his supervisor, er... supervising! |
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Dick |
Wow! It's taking a little while. |
Kostmart Manager |
Just relax. I've been married for twenty years. I know what it looks like. You want me to get you a cola? |
Dick |
It's just hard to do it while you're standing there watching. |
Kostmart Manager |
Like I said, you might pee four hundred dollars. I've been off the pipe for two years. Thank you, Jesus! |
Clip 4 |
Working as a Greeter is never easy. Keeping the energy up, engaging with every customer and making suitable recommendations. |
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Dick |
Hello there, ma'am. Welcome to Kostmart. I hope you'll take a trip by the deli counter today for a complimentary cube of jalapeño cheddar. |
Customer |
I'm lactose intolerant. Where do you keep the cigarettes? |
Dick |
[Shielding his face from her overpowering tobacco breath] |
They're around the corner. |