6 MP3 Audio clips from The Football Factory (2004)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

This is Tommy Johnson (Danny Dyer) explaining his "raison d'etre" at the start of the film. It's NOT typical of most British people. Just the a**holes.

Tommy Johnson

There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male approaching thirty in a dead-end job who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily-cut drugs and occasionally kicking fu*k out of someone.

Clip 2

The boys have spotted the opposition's spotter sat on a wall outside the pub. They send a couple of lads to get rid of him.

Zeberdee

'Scuse me mate, you got a light?

Billy

Don't fu*k about, ping 'im!

[The lad gets punched clean off the wall]

Clip 3

Another of Tommy's inner monologues. He's a classy man. No. Actually, he's not.

Tommy

What else you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fu*king armchair wa*king off to Pop Idols, then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fu*k that for a laugh.

Clip 4

Billy has a way with words. When some opposing fans are staring at him across the bar, he's got some choice words for their ringleader.

Billy

See you, you c*nt? I'll cut you first.

Tommy

And that was his idea of a good day out.

[Bottles are heard being smashed as it all kicks off]

Clip 5

Tommy has a way with women. But he doesn't have a way with words. If you're confused, "smashing the granny" out of a girl means... well, you can guess can't you?

Tommy

I'm gonna smash the fu*king granny out of that, I swear...

Clip 6

Billy is at Crown Court accused of all sorts of naughtiness. The judge is summing up Billy's offending history and when Billy dares question him, the judge gets all "bad-ass" on him.

Judge

What's wrong with you, Bright? You're forty years old and still you offend persistently. We see children in this court with more common sense than you.

Billy

What did you say?

Judge

Don't you dare answer me with that insolent tongue of yours, you FAT FU*KING SLOB!

Tommy

[Monologue]

The establishment call us children while they sneak around King's Cross having sex with them for crack money. I should tell this old queer to join us down at Milwall. He might enjoy swapping that silly wig for a bit of Burberry and having a row.