6 MP3 Audio clips from Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

Brandon St. Randy. He's a lawyer. He's sexually ambiguous and he's underhand in a way only lawyers can be. He's also a big fan of innuendo.

Brandon St. Randy

Well, perfection. I hope you're both prepared to go home today because I am the best lawyer in showbiz. Seriously... I'm like the Dick Wolf of getting guys off with my mouth.

Jay

Ooh!

Clip 2

Jay and Silent Bob are back in court. This time they're accused of running an illegal drug dispensary disguised as a chicken sandwich shop called C*ck Smoker. Nice!

Bailiff

Docket number thirty-seven. People v Jay and Silent Bob.

Judge

Jay and Silent Bob are back? Ergh.

Bailiff

Charges are drug trafficking and running an illegal drug dispensary disguised as a chicken sandwich shop called...

[Sniggers]

C*ck Smoker.

Brandon St. Randy

[Laughs]

Clip 3

You've heard of Southwest Airlines right? Yeah. But for the purposes of this movie and to avoid litigation, the producers have named the airline Southbest. And their check-in staff are amazing.

Joline

Let me make something straight here. I said "WAIT... problem." And the...

[She turns her monitor around to face JAY and SILENT BOB]

... problem is that y'all can't fly. 'Cos ya'll are on the no-fly list. There is something here about a terrorist organisation called "The CLIT".

Jay

The CLIT's not real.

Joline

Says every guy I ever dated! I'm sorry but y'all can't fly because y'all are on the no-fly list. But you know what you could do. Maybe you could Ride Me Now instead.

Jay

Ride you now?

Joline

Ride Me Now is a ride share app.

Clip 4

Could that really be Justice presenting the weather on the TV at the Mooby's they've stopped off at? Yes, it would appear so. And Jay has a plan.

Jay

Yo, Mary! I used to knock boots with the weather lady, all right? So I'm gonna go find her and I'm gonna give her a warm front with a possible low of sixty-nine. Snoogins!

Clip 5

I'm assuming (because New Jersey is one of the few places in the States I've not visited) that this is an exaggeration. Surely not ALL residents of that state look like meth-heads? Right?

Milly

Mom! I told you to leave these meth-heads tied up until the cops got here.

Justice

Okay. I didn't call the cops. And these guys are not meth-heads, okay? They only look like meth-heads because they're from New Jersey.

Clip 6

This would have been pretty moving had it not been Jay making the announcement. I mean, he tries. He means what he says but he has a terrible way with words.

Jay

Maybe your Dad didn't even know he had a kid until the other day.

Milly

Wh... what are you saying?

Jay

Jesus! For a private school girl you're pretty fu*king stupid! I'm your father!

Milly

Oh God! Wait. No way, no... no fu*king WAY!

Jay

Yes fu*king way! But I only found out the day we came to Chicago. And I wanted to tell you the whole trip but I promised your Mom I wouldn't. But I'm telling you now because sometimes breaking a promise is the right fu*king thing to do. All right? 'Cos if I kept every promise I ever made... you wouldn't be here. 'Cos this one time I made a promise to your Mom that I wouldn't come in her.

Milly

What the fu*k, man?!