6 MP3 Audio clips from Grown Ups (2010)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

You ever tried to interest your child in something you did when you were one yourself? Board games instead of video games? If so, this will sound familiar. If not, this is how it will surely pan out.

Lenny

You guys ever hear of a game called Chutes & Ladders? Pretty awesome game. I used to play it when I was a kid. Okay, what it is, is... they give you a spinner. And you spin. If you land on a ladder you get to climb up the ladder. If you land on a chute you gotta slide down the chute and start all over again.

Greg

Yeah, what happens? The winner gets a training bra?

Keithie

Yeah, Dad. That game sounds like it sucks.

Clip 2

The friends have gathered at Coach Ferdinando's funeral. It's time for the introductions. But Lenny isn't going to have it easy... having to explain the presence of his children's nanny.

Marcus

And who's that girl? That's not a nanny is it?

Lenny

[Clears his throat]

Uh, no... this is, uh... a friend of ours from China.

Marcus

Oh... yeah. No, I've been on that website.

Lenny

No, no, no, no... like a... an exchange student that my wife brought into the house.

Marcus

Oh, your wife's into chicks? Oh that's nice! Hollywood!

Eric

Hollywood!

Marcus

See? He always lucks out.

Clip 3

Lenny hasn't seen Rob for years. He's still short and he's married to an Octogenarian. Oh and his dress sense sucks and he has a toupée. But he looks good. Sort of.

Lenny

You look good though, man. It's like, uh... if Elvis was an Oompa Loompa. He's right in front of me.

Rob

Well, I don't make jokes at funerals 'cos it's disrespectful. But if that's part of your healing process, I'm cool with it.

Lenny

Aw, that's nice thanks.

[LENNY hugs ROB]

Lenny

Are you cool with the fingering yet?

[LENNY jabs between ROB'S buttocks with his finger]

Wooopoooo!

Rob

[Laughs]

Lenny

Hey, uh... uh, Roxanne. Remember? Rob? The guy I was telling you about? Rob?

Roxanne

Of course! The kid who didn't hit puberty 'til he was nineteen, right?

Lenny

Yeah.

Rob

That was our secret!

Clip 4

Lenny has reserved the room with the waterbed for himself and Gloria. Little advice: If you're going to use a euphemism to talk about sex in front of children, DON'T make it fun!

Gloria

Oooooh! You're gonna do the backstroke tonight!

Rob

Oooooh, ooooh!

Donna

I wanna go swimming with you guys tonight.

Gloria

Oh, honey... we're not really going swimming. What I meant was -

Sally

Woah! Oh no, that's okay... she doesn't need to know what you mean. I don't even know what you mean.

Marcus

Well, I know what she meant.

[He feigns being sick]

Clip 5

Eric Lamonsoff's dog has been de-barked by order of a court. As a result he sounds like a goose being, er... goosed. It's annoying. Especially at five in the morning.

[The dog is barking]

Lenny

Lamonsoff, it's five in the morning. Can you kill the dog now?

Eric

I'm thinkin' about it!

Clip 6

Gloria is wise. She's wise because she's old. And she likes to share that wisdom with the predominantly younger group.

Gloria

And with love comes hostility. Like, um... Rob... when he snapped at me the other day? That was scary. And you all thought that I was so calm but inside... inside I was saying "Gloria Noonan, do not call him a bug-eyed sociopath with a little man complex. Do not say that his hair makes him look like a dirty Q-Tip. Or that he resembles an elder, gay Jonas Brother.

Rob

They get it. They get the point of what where... where you're going.

Gloria

Or a midget Filipino Fonzie. I didn't say it!

[The others enjoy GLORIA'S roast of her husband and laugh-out-loud at his expense]