7 MP3 Audio clips from Booksmart (2019)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

You've heard of Self Therapy, right? Those products designed to boost morale and self-esteem? Well Molly has a tape. A very unusual tape.

Narrator

Good morning, winner. Take a deep breath. Good. You're ready to dominate this day. You've worked harder than everyone and that is why you're a champion. You understand that greatness takes sacrifice. Visualise what you still want to achieve. Stand atop the mountain of your success and look down at everyone who's ever doubted you. Fu*k those losers. Fu*k them in their stupid fu*king faces!

Clip 2

Amy has a crush on Ryan. Ryan is a girl. Perhaps she's transgender, perhaps she's gender fluid but whatever she is, Amy likes it.

Amy

I just like that she's... always in a good mood and she's got a really cute smile. She just seems like she'd be a really fun person to have sleepovers and lay around with.

Molly

Excuse me? Pardon me? I'm a fun person to have sleepovers and lie around with. It's literally all we do.

Amy

Well, with her there'd be more... vagina involved.

Molly

That's fair.

Amy

She said Nick's having a party tonight.

Molly

Of course he would, he's so fu*king stupid. Somebody always gets arrested the night before graduation. Amy, do you know how many girls are going to be up your vagina at Columbia next year? Are you aware of it? Because I'm aware of it. Every time I come to visit you, you're just going to be scissoring a different girl -

Amy

Dude? Scissoring is not a thing.

Molly

Don't knock it until you've -

Amy

It's not a thing.

Molly

- tried it. Don't knock it, until you've tried it.

Amy

I'm not knocking it. But it's just not a thing.

Molly

How 'bout you don't knock it... until you've tried it.

Clip 3

Well this conversation got real awkward real quick. Molly and Amy are discussing masturbation and Amy shares way more than she intended to share. And immediately regrets it.

Amy

What if I don't... use my hands?

Molly

You can make yourself come using only your mind?

Amy

No!

Molly

That's like the one thing my mind can't do.

Amy

No! Well, I use... just... other stuff.

[She indicates the shelf above the bed with her eyes]

Molly

A book?

Amy

No!

Molly

Very Freudian but I'd worry about paper cuts.

Amy

No! Can we just stop talking about this?

Molly

That little elephant?

Amy

No! Stop!

Molly

That weird crocheted pig?

Amy

My grandma gave me that right before she died.

Molly

If you don't tell me what it is you know I'm gonna guess -

Amy

It's the panda. It's the panda. Okay? The panda. Whatever. Just.

[She buries her head beneath her pillow]

Can we just stop talking about this? Please... for the love of all things.

Molly

Quick question. Just a quick Q. What happened to her eye?

Amy

That fell off way before anything happened between us.

Molly

Does she talk dirty to you? Tell you about how she's endangered?

Amy

No! Stop!

Molly

Do pandas roar?

Amy

Stop!

Molly

[Laughs]

You sneaky little b**ch. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you have been mounting that tragic panda every single night.

[Laughs]

Amy

Yeah.

Molly

This is honestly... honestly this is exhilarating. I thought I knew everything about you. I think it's healthy for a relationship to have secrets and now we have one. I have a secret for you.

Amy

Okay.

Molly

Yes. Uh-huh. I once tried to masturbate with an electric toothbrush. But I got a horrible UTI. Horrible. Like... horrible.

Amy

I wish that would've been a secret but you've mentioned it many, many times.

Clip 4

Gigi is... well, Gigi is... How can I put this? Gigi is a freak. A spooky, whacked-out, totally off the scale freak. And she has a habit of appearing at the most inopportune of moments.

Gigi

I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but it turned out to be a graveyard and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be re-born.

Clip 5

Amy and Molly are in a cab. Driven by their high school Principal. And they're watching porn on Molly's phone. For educational purposes. What could possibly go wrong?

Molly

Principal Brown?

Jordan Brown

Principal Brown was my Dad. You can just call me Jordan.

Molly

Uh, no thank you. Principal Brown?

Jordan Brown

Yes?

Molly

I'm so s... do you have a phone charger?

Jordan Brown

No, I don't. I've got like... thirteen!

[He hands back a bundle of cables]

Here. Here you go. Catch!

Amy

[Remarking on the porn video]

I didn't know you could do that from that angle.

Molly

Wait, what did I miss?

Amy

Scrub back. This is important.

[PRINCIPAL BROWN notices the girls wearing earbuds and assumes that they're listening to music]

Jordan Brown

Oh, if you guys wanna listen to your music I can just plug it in up here...

Amy

No!

Molly

NO!

Amy

NO!

[The car interior is suddenly filled with rhythmic squelching noises and moaning from the porn soundtrack]

Clip 6

Gigi has fed Amy and Molly strawberries laced with an hallucinogenic drug. When they come around, they believe that they're dolls. Which makes for an interesting discourse.

Amy & Molly

[Scream loudly]

Doll Molly

Why do you look like that?

Doll Amy

Molly, you're a fu*king doll.

Doll Molly

No, you're a fu*king doll!

[DOLL AMY notices a plastic corn cob attached to her hand]

Dolly Amy

What?

[She pulls the corn cob off with a loud popping sound]

Ow! Fu*k! That hurt!

[DOLL AMY tries to stand up, awkwardly]

Ah, my boobs are too heavy. I have no core!

Doll Molly

Our legs... don't bend, they're twice as long as our torsos... these proportions are insane! Where's my chub?

[She notices a vanity unit with a mirror atop of it and begins the climb the drawers despite having no knees]

Doll Amy

Wait! Where are you going? Wait for me!

Doll Molly

I HAVE... to SEE... for MYSELF!

[Her legs end up in the "splits" position]

Well, I've never done the splits. In my life.

[AMY, who has been following up the drawers slips and now hangs on by one hand]

AMY!

Doll Amy

Help! Molly? Help me!

Doll Molly

Oh my God. Don't look down, Amy. No!

Doll Amy

I... I can't reach!

Doll Molly

You have to put my heel in your hole.

Doll Amy

My heel? Your heel in my what?

Doll Molly

Your hole.

Doll Amy

What hole?

Doll Molly

Your CORN HOLE!

[With a struggle, they both end up atop the vanity seeing themselves in the mirror for the first time]

Doll Amy

Oh, my God!

Doll Molly

Um, what the fu*k am I wearing?

[They both rip off their clothes and look down]

Where's my vag?

Doll Amy

Molly, I have no genitals.

Doll Molly

How do I pee? How do I sh*t?

Doll Amy

I don’t even have nipples! These are just mounds! My whole body’s like a fu*king dolphin!

[Getting into it]

Just... just perfect, round, huge mounds. Molly, look at my body. I’m beautiful.

Doll Molly

No. Don't get sucked in. This is our nightmare, Amy!

Doll Amy

I know this is unrealistic and bad for women but... is it bad? Because I feel pretty good. I mean, this ass won't quit.

Doll Molly

Amy! Use your brain!

Doll Amy

I don't need to use my brain. I just need to be smooth and flexible. Look at you, you bad b**ch!

Dolly Molly

[Slaps DOLL AMY in the face to bring her around]

Okay, that's it. We HAVE to wake up!

Doll Amy

My, my, my, Mmm. I think I, like... might actually just... stay here for a while.

Doll Molly

No, I won't let you do this!

Doll Amy

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Clip 7

Triple A is so called because if the rumours are to be believed, she has a habit of giving... ahem, roadside assistance to guys from school. If you know what I mean. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

Triple A

You know this is why people say I gave guys roadside assistance, right? I gave 'em a ride home. That's all.

[There's a long, awkward pause]

Okay, that's not true. I blew them. But it's not like they ran out of gas and I showed up to suck their d*ck while they waited for help. We hooked up in their car. It makes sense to hook up in a car, I'm not gonna, like... suck a d*ck at my own home where my father can walk it at any moment. Also, I wanna enjoy it. Fu*king sue me!

Molly

That makes a lot of sense.