7 MP3 Audio clips from Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

It's the morning of the big day off and Ferris is giving the performance of his life in order to convince his parents that he is a truly sick boy. His sister isn't convinced.

Katie

Honey, you're not going to school like this now.

Jeanie

Oh fine. What's this? What's his problem?

Katie

He doesn't feel well.

Jeanie

Yeah, right. Dry that one out, you could fertilise the lawn.

Clip 2

Has anyone ever wondered (as I have) how come there's a disproportionate number of students in this class whose surname starts with an A? No? Just me then.

Teacher

Adams?

Adams

Here.

Teacher

Adamley?

Adamley

Here.

Teacher

Adamowsky?

Adamowsky

[Raises her hand distractedly]

Teacher

Adamson?

Adamson

Here.

Teacher

Adler?

Adler

Here.

Teacher

Anderson? Anderson?

Anderson

Here!

Teacher

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Adamley

Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid, who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at Thirty-One Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Teacher

Thank you, Simone.

Adamley

No problem whatsoever!

Clip 3

I've mentioned that Cameron Frye is up-tight, right? Highly-strung I think I said. But I'm not the only one who thinks that. So does Ferris.

Ferris

Pardon my French but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Clip 4

Ed Rooney knows that something is amiss. And he knows that Ferris Bueller is at the heart of the issue. It's time to get tough.

Ed Rooney

Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen-hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardises my ability to effectively govern this student body.

Grace

Well... makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.

Ed Rooney

Thank you, Grace. I think you're wrong.

Grace

Oh, well he's very popular, Ed. The sportos and motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, d*ckheads, they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

Clip 5

It's Cameron Frye pretending to be George Sloane on the phone to Ed Rooney. And it's a classic line. Which you can now download as a message tone. You're welcome!

Cameron Frye

Pardon my French, but you're an a**hole!

Clip 6

Jeanie has had enough of the school community rallying around her supposedly dying brother and decides to pay Ed Rooney a visit to set the record straight.

Jeanie

Is Mister Rooney in?

Grace

No, I'm sorry... he's not. Can I help you?

Jeanie

I seriously doubt it. When's he back?

Grace

I don't know. He's left the school grounds on personal business.

Jeanie

What's that supposed to mean?

Grace

Well, I suppose it means it's personal and it's none of your business, young lady.

Jeanie

Nice attitude.

Grace

Isn't Mrs. Hagel expecting you in Consumer Ed. class?

Jeanie

Probably.

[JEANIE storms out of the office]

Grace

Mmm, mmm, mmm. What a little a**hole!

Clip 7

With an intruder in her kitchen, Jeanie has called the cops. So, when the doorbell rings, she assumes that help has arrived. But no. Not help. It's a nurse-a-gram sent by a well-wishing admirer of her brother.

Nurse-a-gram

I heard that you were feeling ill,
headache, fever and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck,
'cos I'm the nurse who likes to...

[Her last word is mercifully cut short when JEANIE slams the door in her face]