5 MP3 Audio clips from Braindead (1992)

PLAY ALL 5 CLIPS

Clip 1

Paquita had a beautiful German Shepherd. I say "had" because Vera Cosgrove has just eaten him. Well, not quite ALL of him but there's not much left to be honest.

Paquita

Oh, Fernando! YOUR MOTHER ATE MY DOG!

Lionel

[Looking at the gory remains of the animal splattered across his mother's bed]

Not all of it!

Clip 2

Whilst trying to dig up his un-dead mother in the local cemetery, Lionel encounters Void and his gang of brainless (soon to be braindead) thugs.

[VOID is urinating on the grave of VERA COSGROVE]

Lionel

That's my mother you're p*ssing on.

Clip 3

Father McGruder is a bad-ass priest. Not only can he deliver a mean sermon but he can also deliver un-dead thugs straight into the afterlife.

Father McGruder

The devil is amongst us. Stay back, boy. This calls for divine intervention!

[THE PRIEST launches into a comical fight sequence in which he kicks the sh*t out of the un-dead thugs attacking LIONEL]

I kick ass for the LORD!

Clip 4

Uncle Les is an embarrassment. But he also has some prostate problems which means he has trouble peeing. Oh, and he's an a**hole.

Les

[Grunts pitifully as he tries to void his bladder. Eventually the flow starts]

Who's that, uh... little girl you've been seeing?

Lionel

What?

Les

You know... the little Latin number with the cute bum.

Lionel

Paquita.

Les

Oh yeah. Paquita. That's the one. Ooh, she's a bit of all right. Wouldn't mind her doin' the growl on me.

Clip 5

Two zombies are having sex in Lionel's dining room. He's preventing Uncle Les from going in there but the man has ears and assumes entirely the wrong thing.

[We hear sounds of two people having sex through the door]

Les

So, you found your Dad's old stag movies, eh?

[The sounds become more frantic and animalistic]

Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?