5 MP3 Audio clips from An American Pickle (2020)

PLAY ALL 5 CLIPS

Clip 1

Herschel is looking through a family photo album. He comes across a photograph of Ben as a child.

Herschel

Who is this very shapely young woman, here?

Ben

That's me.

Clip 2

A little like Donald Trump, Herschel has decided to handle his Twitter account himself. Not advisable when you have views and opinions that are one hundred years past their sell-by date.

Herschel

I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me. Now... read me back my dictation.

Clara

Okay. Um... "Wheelchair people -

Herschel

Yes.

Clara

- my pickles are so good -

Herschel

Yes.

Clara

- it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you."

Herschel

Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths. They can eat pickle. Is good.

Clara

Okay.

Herschel

Send to Twitter.

Clara

Sending. "We sell to all people -

Herschel

Yes.

Clara

- even woman, unless they are menses, in which case, stay in tent."

Herschel

Stay in tent! Next Twitter.

Clara

"Attention, sodomites -

Herschel

Yes.

Clara

- Hashem will smite you for your sin! You will burn in flames for your crimes against God. Buy my pickles."

Herschel

Perfect to send! Very good.

Clara

Yep.

Clip 3

Again, when your views and opinions are one hundred years out of date, it's probably best not to participate in a live, televised debate.

Professor Ecklund

Okay... be that as it may, your stance on gender roles is so repressive that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude.

Herschel

Exactly! Servitude. Women like to serve. She has... little hands for serving things to people in very nice, graceful way. Women have... nipples to serve milk to people. Women have hole in lower body to produce babies... in other words, serve babies, out of hole in body.

[The crowd, inexplicably, begin to applaud]

Herschel

Woman like serve! Yes!

Professor Ecklund

Incredibly offensive -

Herschel

Someone is menses.

Professor Ecklund

No!

Clip 4

Ben has disguised himself and his voice to ask a question he knows will lead Herschel to say something not just controversial but down-right offensive and blasphemous.

Host

Oh, uh... how about you in the back?

Herschel

Yes? The shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see.

Ben

[Sounding suspiciously like Kermit the Frog]

Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you. I was wondering what your thoughts are on Christian prayer in public schools. Um, yes. Thank you.

Herschel

Oh! Simple question! Easy to answer. I don't think I'm saying anything controversial when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother was prostitute. And she invent story of Christianity to cover up fact that she prostitute. So... if you believe in Jesus, you are stupid idiot.

Clip 5

This clip was in the credits so if you missed it, it's Ben and Herschel sitting together and watching Yentl, a 1983 movie starring Barbra Streisand.

Herschel

I like her very much.

Ben

Barbra Streisand?

Herschel

Yes. This her name? Barbra Streisand.

Ben

Babs.

Herschel

Babs. She very pretty.

Ben

Oh yeah.

Herschel

She is Jew?

Ben

Oh yes. She is a Jew. Very much Jew.

Herschel

Very attractive trait, dress like boy to go to yeshiva.

Ben

I've always said that.

Herschel

She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy. But little Jew woman underneath there. I like this film, very much.

Ben

You're really colouring it in a new way.

Herschel

It's very naughty.

Ben

It is super naughty the way you describe it. Yeah.

Herschel

She is married?

Ben

She is.

Herschel

One day, Barbra Streisand... one day.