5 MP3 Audio clips from Dog Soldiers (2002)

PLAY ALL 5 CLIPS

Clip 1

Their heart just isn't in this exercise. Each of them has some place they'd really rather be. And for Sergeant Wells, it involves balls.

Wells

Now, listen up! I'm gonna make this quick and to the point because just like you, all I wanna do is get home, jump into a warm bed with a nice hot woman and watch the footie.

Terry

Planning on scoring, Sarge?

Spoon

Yea, well mind you don't foul her in the penalty box.

Terry

Aww.

Wells

All right, button it, Private Parts.

Clip 2

Those long winter evenings hardly fly by. So the lads have to think of things to talk about. And this is everyone's favourite subject.

Cooper

Go on then Bruce, what scares you?

Bruce

The self-destructive nature of the human condition.

Spoon

You're just taking the p*ss now.

Bruce

What... you think so?

Cooper

What about you, Spoon?

Spoon

Castration.

Cooper

There's no argument there. Joe?

Joe

Only one thing guaranteed to put the sh*ts up me: a penalty shoot-out.

Cooper

Figures. Terry?

Terry

Watching a penalty shoot-out... with Joe.

Bruce

What about you, Coop?

Cooper

Spiders. And women. And, uh... spider-women.

Clip 3

Nothing breaks up a party like a dead cow falling from the sky and landing messily on your campfire. Nothing. It's the ultimate party-pooper.

Spoon

So this bloke walks into a pub right, with a little dog under his arm. Puts it down on the bar, goes and sits down. The bar-tender's lookin' at him thinking "what the fu*kin' hell's goin' on here?". Then he looks back at the dog, and to his surprise the dog turns around and...

[A dead cow drops noisily and messily into the centre of their camp from the cliff above]

Cooper

Fu*kin' cow.

Spoon

Fu*kin' hell.

[Instinctively, Terry fires his weapon at it]

Wells

Cease fire, Terry. Cease fire.

Joe

Terry, what the hell are you doin'? You're firing blanks man.

Wells

Is everyone all right? Is everyone OK?

Spoon

Nah, man, I think I've sh*t meself.

Clip 4

Sergeant Wells has been badly wounded. His intestines have escaped through a large slit in his abdomen. He's ready to die. He's certainly not ready for Coop to try to shove them back in.

Wells

You p*ss off... that is an order.

[He spots movement off to his left]

INCOMING!

[The unit opens fire]

Wells

FU*K OFF!

Coop

You can take your orders and shove 'em up your arse.

Wells

Oh... Jesus... my guts are out, Coop.

Coop

Well, we'll just put 'em back in again.

Wells

[Screams in agony]

They're not going to fu*king fit!

Coop

'Course they'll fit, man.

[He begins shoving handfuls of intestines back approximately where they came from]

C'mon... c'mon... c'mon.

Clip 5

Cooper is trying to suture Sergeant Wells' abdomen but he doesn't have any anaesthetic. Which means there's only one option...

Wells

Cooper, knock me out. HIT ME!

[COOPER punches WELLS in the face but it has no effect]

Wells

Oh, you fu*king pu**y... hit me -

[This time, COOPER puts enough effort into the punch and he knocks WELLS out]