
Mr. D | Season 6
© 2012 Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
Gerry Duncan. He's a teacher. He likes to think he's cool. He's not. And even though he wants his students to think of him as one of their own and call him Mr. D, he's still a giant douchebag. Can he be a successful teacher and win over the toughest crowd in the world? Probably not, to be honest.
UPDATED: | CLIPS: 134
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Clip 1 S06 E01: "Gerry Does It Again" |
Gerry and Lisa have just woken up. Together. In her bed. And they apparently got married last night. But is that the worst thing that they did in a drunken stupour? |
|
Lisa Mason |
What if we had sex, Gerry? It's okay. It's totally fine. 'Cos you know why? Because we're both fully clothed so clearly nothing happened. YAY! |
Gerry Duncan |
No, no. I wouldn't be so sure of that. |
Lisa Mason |
But you shirt's still tucked in, Gerry. |
Gerry Duncan |
It doesn't mean anything. That's my thing. |
Lisa Mason |
What? |
Gerry Duncan |
After I do it, I get fully dressed. It's just something I've always done. |
Lisa Mason |
That... is super weird but I'm still dressed and that is certainly not my thing, so... |
Gerry Duncan |
Doesn't mean anything, either. 'Cos I dress the other person, too. |
Lisa Mason |
That is so creepy, Gerry. |
Gerry Duncan |
Creepy would be leaving you there naked while I'm fully dressed to the nines. |
Clip 2 S06 E01: "Gerry Does It Again" |
It's the morning after the night before and the newly married Lisa Mason (or is it Duncan?!), has bumped into Bobbi and Trudy in the corridor. |
|
Lisa Mason |
Ladies! |
Bobbi Galka |
Oh hey, Lisa! |
Trudy Walsh |
What's new? |
Lisa Mason |
Nothing. What's new with you? |
Trudy Walsh |
Well, Bobbi was just telling me about the time she made the worst mistake of her life and how disgusted and... ashamed she felt. |
Bobbi Galka |
Mmm. And then Trudy was talking about how she got super loaded one night and then married this huge... this huge loser. |
Trudy Walsh |
And then, of course, we realised that we were both talking about you! |
Bobbi Galka |
Yeah! So... awkward! |
Lisa Mason |
Okay, yes. I married Gerry. |
Trudy Walsh |
That was after he'd publicly proposed to another woman which makes you Gerry's... |
Bobbi Galka |
Just wait for this part... |
Trudy Walsh |
Second choice for a wife. |
Bobbi Galka |
Argh! Wow! Let that wash over you! |
Trudy Walsh |
That... day! |
Lisa Mason |
All right. I did a terrible thing. Okay? Guilty. But we've all done stupid stuff. |
Trudy Walsh |
[Laughs] |
Nothing like that! |
Lisa Mason |
You and Robert in the car? |
Bobbi Galka |
What? |
Lisa Mason |
How 'bout... how 'bout the cold-cut buffet with Dwyer. Just... Bon appétit! |
Bobbi Galka |
I don't know how you know that. |
Trudy Walsh |
Oh. I must have told her. |
Bobbi Galka |
Thank you. |
Lisa Mason |
Trudy... you and your brother. |
Bobbi Galka |
Your brother?! Ewwww! |
Trudy Walsh |
Well, it's complicated. |
Bobbi Galka |
Yeah, I should hope so! |
Lisa Mason |
It's disgusting! So let's cut Lisa... a little slack. Okay? |
[LISA walks away] |
Trudy Walsh |
She's kinda right. |
Bobbi Galka |
Yeah. |
Trudy Walsh |
You know, sometimes the heart wants what the stomach can't keep down. |
Bobbi Galka |
I have the image of your brother in my mind. |
Trudy Walsh |
Yeah. Me, too. |
Clip 3 S06 E01: "Gerry Does It Again" |
A student is eating peanuts in the corridor. Which is a problem. But not quite as big a problem as the way in which Robert Cheeley deals with it. Seriously... can he hear himself? |
|
Robert Cheeley |
Hey! You know the rule about bringing those into school. Spit the nuts out of your mouth or I'll give you something to really choke on. |
Clip 4 S06 E02: "Gerry Wants to Stay Married" |
Bobbi Galka is very proud of her former student, Eva. Eva has a promising music career. But her music is a little... niche. In the worst way. As she's about to find out. |
|
Bobbi Galka |
I'm so excited. Oh! Here we go! Yay, Eva! |
Eva |
Before I get started tonight, I just wanna give a big shout-out to my former high school teacher. She's here tonight and she's the reason I do what I do. Ms. Galka, why don't you come up here? |
Bobbi Galka |
What?! Okay... |
[BOBBI runs up onto the stage, embracing EVA] |
Thanks, Eva. Awww! I can't take all the credit but I can take, you know, a lot of it! I support you a hundred percent in everything you do, Eva. Okay, go for it! |
[EVA begins to strum a ballad on her acoustic guitar] |
♪ |
Eva |
White is a cloud, white is the snow. |
White is the best part of an Oreo. |
White as flour and my white laundry. |
[Anybody else getting slightly uncomfortable with where the lyrics are taking us?] |
'Cos white is the colour Jesus wants us to be. |
[Oh dear] |
When this world looks dark, it needs... |
Bobbi Galka |
(Please don't say it.) |
Eva |
White power! Oh, oh, white power! |
Bobbi Galka |
(No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no!) |
Nisha Corcoran |
(What is she saying?) |
Eva |
White power. |
Bobbi Galka |
(This isn't happening!) |
♪ |
[The crowd, comprised primarily of white supremacists, applaud loudly] |
Clip 5 S06 E04: "Gerry Goes to Prison" |
Gerry is now teaching a class at the local prison because it pays $300 per day. Of course, he's teaching maths to murderers which isn't anyone's idea of heaven but... think of the money, eh?! |
|
Gerry Duncan |
I think it's wonderful that you haven't given up on your dreams. You're gonna get a high school education, even though most of you are here forever. It's great you still wanna graduate. And that's why I'm here. I'm your teacher, there's a - |
Supa Dim |
'The fu*k is your name? |
Gerry Duncan |
My... my name? That's a good question. Easy question. My name is Gerry. Did I say Gerry? 'Cos it's Jerome. Jerome... Dunkley. That's my name I was given at birth, Jerome Dunkley. I've kept it the whole time. Never changed it. And your name is? |
Supa Dim |
Supa Dim. |
Gerry Duncan |
What... is your... what is it? |
Supa Dim |
Supa Dim. |
Gerry Duncan |
Supa Dim. Supa Dim. I'm gonna write that down. |
[GERRY begins patting his pockets for the pen the guard warned him not to lose as it could be used as a weapon against staff or other inmates] |
Supa Dim. I have a... where's... |
[A loud scream of agony is heard from an adjoining room] |
There's my pen! |
Clip 6 S06 E04: "Gerry Goes to Prison" |
Sometimes you have to modify your teaching style to suit the student. And when you're teaching a group of lifers, you'd better get your head in the game and speak their language. |
|
Gerry Duncan |
Dividing fractions. Let's start with that. All you do is take the second fraction, you turn it upside down. Take the denominator... put it up here, we take the - |
Supa Dim |
What the fu*k are you saying? |
Gerry Duncan |
Numerator. You don't know the numerator / denominator yet. |
Supa Dim |
Speak fu*king English. |
Gerry Duncan |
Ah! When in Rome. You wanna know how you divide fractions, gentlemen? This fraction stays here. Flip this fu*ker. Flip it. This is the b**ch. Get this b**ch the fu*k outta here. Take this b**ch. She just sittin' there. She just sittin' there. This little three b**ch goes to the bottom. Multiply that b**ch by that b**ch and that b**ch by that b**ch and you get that fu*ker, right there. |
Supa Dim |
Oh my God! |
Gerry Duncan |
Yeah? |
Supa Dim |
I think I got it. |
Gerry Duncan |
Supa? |
Supa Dim |
You just blew my mind, Jerome! You're a real good fu*king teacher. |
Gerry Duncan |
Guilty as charged! Well, not guilt... not a good choice of words, but... |
Clip 7 S06 E04: "Gerry Goes to Prison" |
Gerry has had a positive effect on Supa Dim. Or has he? Is Supa Dim playing him like a fiddle? Yeah. You bet your sweet ass he is. Gerry is about to become an unwitting drug mule. |
|
Supa Dim |
Yo, Jerome. I just wanna say thanks. I learned a lot from you. |
Gerry Duncan |
Oh, no... you don't have to thank me, man. |
Supa Dim |
Hey, could you do me a solid? |
Gerry Duncan |
Name it. |
Supa Dim |
My Uncle Coco's birthday is comin' up and I got him a gift. |
Gerry Duncan |
What'd you get him? |
Supa Dim |
It's a tie. |
Gerry Duncan |
Oh my God. I always get ties. |
Supa Dim |
Uncle Coco loves his ties. Could you maybe drop it off for me? It'd make his birthday so special. |
Gerry Duncan |
Man, that's nice of you. Livin' in here and you're thinkin' of your family. |
Supa Dim |
Yeah. Fifty bucks for your trouble. |
Gerry Duncan |
DONE! Wow! Fifty bucks to bring a tie. |
Supa Dim |
Forty-two College Street. Coco's house. |
Gerry Duncan |
That's the easiest fifty bucks ever! I'll write that down. Forty-two college... I gotta get my pen again, I keep - |
[Another loud, agonising scream is heard from an adjoining room] |
Okay. My pen is in someone's chest. |
Clip 8 S06 E04: "Gerry Goes to Prison" |
Simon is deeply suspicious of one of his students, Jakob. He believes he may be claiming ESL in order to get extra help and an unfair advantage over his peers. |
|
Simon Hunt |
And finally Jakob. Aced it again, Jakob. |
Jakob |
Jakob work so hard. |
Simon Hunt |
Yeah, at cheating, ya punk! You know, I'm onto you, Jakob. I sniffed out your ruse. If you barely speak English then you won't mind if I call you a sack-less turd blossom. You worthless pile of wolf-trampled human faeces. You stack of toenail fungus. You puddle of elephant semen. You heaving mess of walking, talking, bacne. |
Jakob |
Jakob work so hard. |
Simon Hunt |
Maybe you don't speak English. Good work, pal. Sorry about all of that. |
Clip 9 S06 E05: "A Star Is Born" |
Gerry Duncan is teaching his primary class again. A room full of young children he has no idea how to teach. And if you think it went badly last time, hold on to your hats... |
|
Gerry Duncan |
Remember we talked about word families? I know you love that. So we're gonna start with words that end in A, N. You yell out a word, I'll write it down. Let's see how many we can get. GO! |
Bethany |
FAN! |
Gerry Duncan |
FAN! There's a good one. |
Phillip |
MAN! |
Gerry Duncan |
MAN! That's another one. |
Faith |
LESBIAN! |
Gerry Duncan |
Words that end in A, N. Anyone? Words ending in A, N. |
Faith |
LESBIAN! |
Gerry Duncan |
Okay, I heard pan. Good. |
Phillip |
No. Faith said lesbian. |
Gerry Duncan |
All right. No big deal. Faith said lesbian. Hold on. Good. We'll write that down. Just a word. Not a big deal but we'll move on and get some other ones. |
Faith |
What is a lesbian, sir? |
Gerry Duncan |
It's your word, how do you... all right. If you liked another girl... |
Faith |
I like Olivia. Am I a lesbian? |
Gerry Duncan |
Well, if you like, like Olivia, you could be, sure. |
Faith |
I like, like, like Olivia. |
Bethany |
I love Olivia. |
Phillip |
I like Olivia, too. Am I a lesbian? |
Gerry Duncan |
No. It doesn't work that way, Phillip. You can never be a lesbian. |
Phillip |
No fair. I wanna be a lesbian. |
Faith |
Me, too! |
Gerry Duncan |
You can all be lesbians. Let's just... move on. Let's try words that end in O, N. |
Faith |
PROSTITUTION! |
Gerry Duncan |
What did you say? |
Faith |
PROSTITUTION! |
Phillip |
What is prostitution? |
Gerry Duncan |
What is prostitution? Uh, let's say... prostitution is when you work in the street and you get paid. |
Bethany |
I wanna do prostitution! |
Gerry Duncan |
No. All right. Movin' on to words that end in R, E but let me just have a second, here. To think if... nothing, there can't be... so shout out words that end in R, E. |
Faith |
CRACKWHORE! |
Clip 10 S06 E06: "Gerry Throws the Game" |
Trudy loves nuts. What does that sentence say to you? Would you immediately think of almonds and soy nuts? Or are you thinking about dangly man-berries? Hmm? |
|
Lisa Mason |
Have to put Jordan Steele up on the allergy board. I just found out he's allergic to shellfish. |
Trudy Walsh |
Right. That reminds me. I just found out that I am severely allergic to soy nuts and almonds. |
Lisa Mason |
Oh, no! I'm so sorry. |
Trudy Walsh |
You're sorry? I am a nut lover. |
Lisa Mason |
I love nuts, too. |
Trudy Walsh |
No, no, no. I mean I love nuts. |
[She performs a hand gesture which should give LISA a hint as to what she really means] |
Lisa Mason |
Okay, well, we need to get your photo and your EpiPen up on the board ASAP. |
Trudy Walsh |
There's two more nuts that I will no longer have the pleasure of rolling around my gullet. |
Lisa Mason |
W... we're still talking about almonds and soy nuts, right? |
Trudy Walsh |
Testicles. |
[LISA walks away, clearly uncomfortable with the direction in which the conversation is going] |
Squeamish little one, aren't ya? |
Clip 11 S06 E06: "Gerry Throws the Game" |
Well, Trudy has found a photo of herself. Sadly, she looks rather like Miss Trunchbull in a hoodie in it and, not surprisingly, Lisa finds this rather amusing. |
|
Trudy Walsh |
Here's the photo you asked for. |
Lisa Mason |
Oh good... |
[Upon seeing the photograph, LISA bursts into hysterics] |
Trudy Walsh |
What's so funny? |
Lisa Mason |
Nothing. |
Trudy Walsh |
You sure about that, Chuckles? |
Lisa Mason |
You want me to put this up on the allergy wall? I mean... look at you! What are you wearing? This is why I carry a taser. If there's an emergency we need to be able to recognise you. I mean, who is this? |
Trudy Walsh |
Okay. Point taken. How about if I dig around and find another photo that's a little more me? |
Lisa Mason |
Yes. That's a good idea. I mean, you can put that up in the mean-time but switch it out when you have one, okay? This is for your own safety. |
Trudy Walsh |
Yeah, you should probably walk faster for your own safety. |
Clip 12 S06 E07: "The Man With Two Red Shoes" |
Thank God Chris Hansen and NBC didn't stoop to this level when they created To Catch a Predator. Using an actual child as bait to lure a paedophile out of hiding outside a school? Holy sh*t. |
|
Simon Hunt |
So you're telling me there's a lurker in our midst? |
Gerry Duncan |
Yep. Somewhere around here. |
Simon Hunt |
Whoa, if I get my hands on that guy, the things I would do to him, let me tell you. |
Gerry Duncan |
What are you gonna do, Simon? |
Simon Hunt |
Well, I'll tell you what I wouldn't do. Violence. Nope. Violence is not the answer but I'd give him a stern talking to and a... cold look. So, how you gonna catch this lurker? |
Gerry Duncan |
Bait. Uhhhh... Tiffany. Can you come here for a sec, please? Listen, can you do Mr. D a favour? I want you to go stand at the very end of the school property, there. |
Tiffany |
Okay. |
Gerry Duncan |
I want you to look approachable but pretty, okay? Just round there. There we go. |
[To SIMON] |
Wanna catch a lurker, think like a lurker. Bait! |
Gerry Duncan |
TIFFANY! |
Tiffany |
Yes? |
Gerry Duncan |
Twirl your hair a little bit. Look more vulnerable. |
Tiffany |
I... cute and vulnerable! |
Gerry Duncan |
Can you look like you have no parents? |
Tiffany |
Where's my mommy? I like puppies! |
Simon Hunt |
Hang on a second. What are we doing? Gerry, I'm ashamed. We're using a cute little brunette girl as bait? |
Gerry Duncan |
So? |
Simon Hunt |
So... it's 2016, Gerry. We're projecting our narrow-minded ideas of what lurkers find appealing onto this guy? |
Gerry Duncan |
Oh my God. I am so embarassed. |
Simon Hunt |
You're embarrassed?! I'm on the Diversity Committee. |
Tiffany |
I'm all alone! |
Simon Hunt |
This is a nightmare. |
Tiffany |
Nobody's with me! |
Clip 13 S06 E08: "Gerry Has Hot Sub Anxiety" |
The new substitute teacher is hot. Smoking hot and she's brought out the competitive spirit in her male co-workers. Especially Gerry and Frank. |
|
Frank |
I already called dibs on that, Gerry |
Gerry Duncan |
[Laughs] |
Oh! Oh, you're serious. You might want to check with her, first. 'Cause I'm pretty sure it's a no, Frank. And it's got nothing to do with the fact you can't walk. So don't try to play that I'm being sort of insensitive to your disability. It's purely based on your height and looks. 'Cause she's a ten and you're a five. |
Frank |
This five's going into that ten twice! |
Clip 14 S06 E09: "Busploitation" |
Gerry has a plan to make big money fast. All he has to do is bait some children into insulting him, post the video online and wait for the crowdfunding to start. |
|
Gerry Duncan |
Make sure you bring your phone. And make sure it's charged. |
Simon Hunt |
I'll just have to close some games. They tend to eat up my battery. |
Gerry Duncan |
Yeah. I've got a class right now, okay? I'm gonna go to class. |
Simon Hunt |
Closing these games. Jewel Thief, Baby's First Bratwurst, Tinder, Momma's Boy... the hell is this game? Horny Milkman? |
Clip 15 S06 E09: "Busploitation" |
Twelve positive pregnancy tests. No, it's not a line from The Twelve Days of Christmas. It's what Mr. Malik found in a bin in the girl's bathroom. |
|
Robert Cheeley |
Bobbi, as the Health Teacher, I need you on the front lines with me. |
Bobbi Galka |
I'm very busy, Robert. |
Robert Cheeley |
This is a crisis. We need to sniff out these pregnant little women. Let's roll. |
Trudy Walsh |
I bet Nick Davis is the baby daddy to all of them. |
Mr. Malik |
That boy could get me pregnant! |
Clip 16 S06 E10: "Gerry Charters a New Course" |
Lisa's kindness and generosity has somehow got lost in this conversation. And as for what Frank thinks is a "party pleaser", I don't even want to think about it. |
|
Lisa Mason |
Hi, everyone. Can I have your attention please. Okay. It seems as though I've come in under budget this year. Yay me! So I just wanted to spend all of that money on the staff. So I'm planning a little soirée at Maison d' Lisa. I hope you can all attend. Just a thank you for all of your hard work this year. |
Frank |
Is there gonna be entertainment? |
Lisa Mason |
Well, I... like, I'm sure I can arrange something. |
Nisha Corcoran |
You know what I love... is a magician. |
Paul Dwyer |
You got music, right? |
Frank |
You should get a mariachi band. |
Nisha Corcoran |
Oh yeah, you know what else is a huge party pleaser? |
Frank |
Condoms and lube? |
Clip 17 S06 E10: "Gerry Charters a New Course" |
Could this be the end of a beautiful relationship? A marriage made in heaven? Or a drunken, non-consummated union between Gerry and Lisa which would never have lasted anyway?! |
|
Lisa Mason |
What am I supposed to do now? |
Gerry Duncan |
I don't know. You'll figure it out. You always do. You'll land on your feet. You're Lisa Mason. You're a strong, independent woman. |
Lisa Mason |
You're right. I am strong. And I can bounce back from anything. Thank you. You know... the moments are few and far between but every once in a blue moon, you can be a pretty half-decent husband. |
Gerry Duncan |
Oh! Almost forgot... that's why I came after you. Uh... gotta get an annulment. Gotta... get out of this! |
Lisa Mason |
What? |
Gerry Duncan |
Come on. I'm on the upswing, you're on a downward spiral to a nervous breakdown... I can't be married to that! Right? You get it. I'm done with this! |