7 MP3 Audio clips from The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

It's not often a woman makes an ultimatum like this one. An ultimatum involving a strap-on and doing unspeakable things to your dreams. I mean what kind of sh*t is that?!

Sonia

If you don't help me, I am gonna put my strapon on and I'm gonna fu*k your dreams until they wish they were your nightmares.

[And that said, SONIA goes on the rampage with an automatic weapon]

MOTHERFU*KERS!

Clip 2

Bobby O'Neill might just be able to earn a post back in Boston if he can only box this case off. He'll need some help, though. He doesn't speak the lingo.

Bobby O'Neill

I need a translator.

Crowley

You can have mine.

Bobby O'Neill

What do they call you?

Ailso

Ailso.

Bobby O'Neill

A**hole?

Ailso

Ailso. Traditional Scottish name.

Clip 3

Reunions don't come much more tender and touching than this one. Lost in a single moment, slow-dancing to Lionel Richie. What would possibly ruin that? Oh. Yeah. Bryce.

♪ Hello by Lionel Richie ♪

[The song suddenly begins to warp, slowing to a halt]

Darius

Uh... hang on. What the fu*k is he doing here?

Michael

I believe it's pronounced... thank you.

Darius

For what?

Michael

Uh... for saving your life again, and again, and again.

Darius

I never asked you to save sh*t. Baby! What in the absolute fu*k is Michael Bryce doing here?

Michael

You said, "Baby! Get me Michael Bryce!"

Darius

What? No! No, no, no, no, no. I said -

[We enter a flashback to the actual event]

Baby! I need help! Get anyone -

[And we're back in the room]

- but Michael Bryce!

Clip 4

Bobby O'Neill is not to be trifled with. Not only can he punch like a boxer but he also uses some pretty colourful language. Language alluding to a lady's genitalia. Yes. THAT word.

Michael

Uh... a quick sideward?

[He shuffles away from DARIUS and SONIA on the chair he's chained to]

Listen. Uh, first off, I'm happy to postpone my sabbatical, I mean, if it's gonna keep me out of jail. But I think, you know, you should really reconsider working with these guys. Because they're are... you know, fu*king crazy.

[BOBBY O'NEILL punches MICHAEL hard in the head]

Fu*k. Wow!

Bobby O'Neill

Okay, C*nt-for-brains, you are gonna be the goofy bodyguard for Carlo's British mistress. While Grumpy Pants here, makes sure that hard drive gets out. Are we clear?

Clip 5

No woman likes to be called "old" or even to have it implied. And it's a shame that more women don't react like Sonia does when it happens. Because it would teach men a lesson in manners.

Vladimir

Carlo always has preferred younger women.

Sonia

Excuse me?

Vladimir

I've seen him with a woman in her thirties. But never this old.

[VLADIMIR and his associates begin to laugh]

Michael

No, no, no, no, no! No, no! Don't... don't laugh. Here it comes.

Vladimir

Old lady. Right?

Sonia

WHAT THE FU*K DID YOU JUST SAY? YOU FINGER-LICKING, SH*T MONKEY, DONKEY-BLOWING MOTHERFU*KER!

Michael

Sh*t!

Clip 6

Sonia is cradling Michael as he sleeps off the lithium she gave him earlier. It's a touching scene until you listen to her lyrics.

♪

Sonia

You're asleep, little Bryce,

Can you please wake the fu*k up?

In your slumber, think of Sonia,

And the bomb that's on her wrist!

♪

Clip 7

What Michael and Darius need to take out Aristotle is guns, boats and two men. Gary and Johan. But not in the way you may be thinking. Unless you're thinking purely innocent thoughts, that is.

Crowley

What do you need to stop Aristotle?

Michael

We need boats. And we need guns.

Darius

[Laughing excitedly and patting MICHAEL on the back]

That's my motherfu*king bodyguard!

Michael

[Pointing at GARY and JOHAN]

And we need them.

Crowley

What?

Michael

What are your names?

Gary

Gary.

Johan

Johan.

Michael

Gary, Johan... are you ready to get your fu*k on?

Crowley

What?

Michael

That came out wrong. Not together. With us. That also came out wrong. You're gonna get your fu*k on in an action context.