11 MP3 Audio clips from Guns Akimbo (2020)

PLAY ALL 11 CLIPS

Clip 1

Nix has arrived at Miles' apartment and he's cowering in a corner. But he needn't worry. She's got it all under control and she's very reassuring about the manner and speed of his imminent death.

Nix

Okay. Here's what we'll do. Take a few minutes. Breathe. Relax.

Miles

Okay.

Nix

And then go take a sh*t because there's nothing worse than shooting a poop-filled corpse. It's like a hitting a turd piñata. After, I'll just sit you down nice and easy and shoot you in the fu*king brain stem.

Clip 2

If you need to know about the intricacies of GPS tracking, my advice is that a homeless guy, no matter how nice and helpful he is, should probably not be your first port of call.

Miles

Hey, you don't happen to know anything about GPS tracking, do you? Pretty sure I'm being bugged.

Homeless Guy

Oh, I see how it is. You assume because I'm homeless, I don't know nothing about dumb stupid GPS tracking bullsh*t.

Miles

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

Homeless Guy

For all you know, I could be a savant programmer who got screwed after my startup went bust.

Miles

I'm so sorry. Are you?

Homeless Guy

What? No! I spend all of my time getting fu*ked up on a bunch of crack.

Miles

Oh! Good for you!

Clip 3

Miles needs the help of his colleague, Hadley to figure out the GPS tracking. But it's not long before his douchebag of a boss appears for a chat.

Zander

Hey, Miles.

Miles

Zander.

Zander

So, it's 4pm and you come in looking like complete sh*t. You on drugs? You speed-balling the NDNA (sic) straight into your eyeballs?

Miles

I've been sick. Okay?

Zander

Sick? You okay little man? Why don't you take the rest of the day off, huh? Or you could just fu*k the fu*k off forever.

[As MILES goes to leave the office, ZANDER follows him and places a hand on his shoulder]

Zander

Cops are looking for you. Seems like you're in some deep sh*t now. I always knew you were a fu*k-up.

Miles

Let me go.

Zander

What you gonna do? Take me on? You gonna hit me, amigo? You El Loco?

[MILES pulls his hands out of his pockets which, being bolted to two Glock pistols, means that he's now threatening his boss with two guns]

Miles

Oh, shut the fu*k up! Stop pretending you speak fu*king Spanish, you fu*king idiot!

Zander

Okay, I'm sorry, please don't kill me.

Miles

You put me down every time I come in that door, you docked my pay for attending my mother's funeral, and you hit on my girlfriend in front me! I am so sick of you and all of your fu*king sh*t! Fu*k you! And fu*k that fu*king chipmunk!

Hadley

Squirrel.

Clip 4

A scrapyard is where the next show-down with Nix is going to take place. But it's already occupied. By a gang who are about to have a VERY bad day!

Gangster

Okay, Grim... we both shoot him in the face at the same time.

Miles

Wait! What?

Gangster

On the count of three, ready? One!

Miles

Oh no, no, no. Please!

Grim

Two!

Miles

Wait!

[NIX appears atop a stack of cars packing a railgun]

Nix

Six! Nine! Eight! Twenty-seven! Five! Eleven-teen!

Miles

Oh, sh*t...

Gangster

Who the fu*k is this crazy whore?

Miles

Oh, God! You've killed us all.

Nix

Hey, thrift-store-leather-daddy! Suck my clit! No one is killing fu*kboy here.

Miles

Yay!

Nix

Except me, of course!

Miles

Oh.

Clip 5

Miles has only once chance for the survival of himself and his kidnapped girlfriend. He needs to team up with Nix. Great idea, not sure it's gonna work, though.

Nix

Your tracker's back on. Neat location, by the way. What, you couldn't find a classic rooftop for your final showdown, fu*kboy?

Miles

God! Stop calling me fu*kboy, okay? I don't even know what that means!

Nix

Whoa... I thought we were going to talk it out for a bit? Exchange some banter. Some obligatory pre-gunfight foreplay. You want to get straight to the shooting?

Miles

No. No, I... look I... I need your help.

Nix

My help?

Miles

Skizm is going to kill us both! Get together, we might have a chance. You know, let's... let's team up. I got a much better chance if I'm with you. I know that. So, you in?

Nix

Um... well, no.

[Predictably, NIX shoots MILES in the chest]

Clip 6

Miles has a plan. But it needs finesse and Nix isn't really a finesse kind of girl. He needs her to shoot him ONCE. Just once. And he needs to get that message across.

Miles

You only need to shoot me one time! Really important. Just one... right in the... once. Okay, you got that? I don't feel like you're listening to me. Just one... one shot.

[I think we all knew THAT wasn't going to happen!]

Miles

I think my ribs are broken. Definitely have internal bleeding.

Nix

Cool, um, do you wanna sit here and cry about it like a little b**ch? Or do you wanna go shoot a bunch of people in the face?

Miles

Oh, hell yes. The... the face shooting one, not the... not the crying.

Nix

Right on. Right on.

Clip 7

Nix has a penchant for shooting guys in the... well, the... dangly bits, a fact that Miles can't quite come to terms with.

Gangster

SUCK ON THIS, B**CH!

[She doesn't suck on it... she blows it off]

Miles

Really, another d*ck shot?

[And another one. Different guy, same anatomical target]

Oh, God damn it, please. Why do you have to keep doing that?

Nix

What? I would have shot you in the d*ck if the target wasn't so small!

Miles

It just seems a little excessive. You know, you could go d*ck shot, then head shot, then d*ck shot. Just mix it up a little, something.

Nix

It's basically a public service.

Clip 8

Miles and Nix have surprised a Skizm coder who, inexplicably, has rushed his heavily-armed assailants with plastic cutlery.

[MILES shoots the CODER at point-blank range]

Miles

What was he thinking?

Nix

Yeah, never bring a spork to a gun fight.

Clip 9

The coder has left his terminal logged on and Miles is browsing the comment section of the Skizm website which he finds particularly disagreeable.

Miles

Oh, God damn, this comment section. It's like YouTube, but worse. No, it's about the same. "I hope someone ices that Nix b**ch and tea-bags her corpse."

Nix

That settles that, I'm going to find every last one of those little trolls and beat them to death with their keyboards.

[MILES addresses a camera providing part of the Skizm live-stream and shouts a brief message to its viewers]

Miles

You are fu*king animals, you know that right? You like this? You like watching people suffer? You like watching people get hunted?..

Clip 10

Nix is losing against a thug armed with a hammer. Until she spots a crystalline substance on the floor which gives her an instant "power -up."

Nix

I HAVE... THE POWER!

[The fight continues with both parties landing blows with their respective hammers]

It's time to realign your chakras.

[Nix gets the upper hand, smashing the gangster's clavicle, fibula, mandible and then... his testicles]

Enough! I think I just heard a ball pop. Are they meant to pop?

Clip 11

Detective Degraves is a bent cop. He's in cahoots with Skizm. But even allies can fall foul of those they serve once in a while.

Riktor

Hey! Where the fu*k are you going, a**hole? The action's back this way!

Degraves

Wait, you want me to go out there and get my face shot off? Are you out of your fu*king mind? Cops will be swarming this place! This sh*t is over!

Riktor

It's not over until I say it's over, you fu*king traitor!

Degraves

Traitor? Without me, you would be nothing! I mean, look at you! You look like someone tried to paint a worn-out dildo with a fu*king Sharpie!

Riktor

Ah, that hurts.

Degraves

Face it, Riktor. This is the end.

[RIKTOR shoots DEGRAVES in the leg, destroying his knee cap and sending him sprawling to the ground]

Riktor

Look at him go! He's like a wounded deer. Go Bambi's mom, go!