7 MP3 Audio clips from Goodfellas (1990)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

Henry's taken a beating from his father for skipping school. The solution? Kidnap and threaten the mailman to stop any more letters from school arriving at the Hill residence, of course.

Paul Cicero

You know this kid?

Mailman

Yeah.

Paul Cicero

You know where he lives?

Mailman

Yeah.

Paul Cicero

You deliver mail to his house?

Mailman

Yeah.

Paul Cicero

Well, from now on, any letter from that school to that kid's house comes directly here, you understand?

Mailman

Yeah.

Paul Cicero

Another letter from that school goes to that kid's house and in the fu*king oven you're gonna go. Head-first.

Henry Hill (V/O)

That was it. No more letters from Truant Officers, no more letters from school, in fact, no more letters from anybody. Finally, after a couple of weeks, my mother had to go to the post office and complain.

Clip 2

Probably the most famous scene from the movie. Tommy DeVito feigns offence at being told by Henry Hill that he's funny. "...Funny, how? I mean, funny like a clown? I amuse you?"

Tommy DeVito

What... what's really funny is the fu*king bank job away in Secaucus. I'm in the middle of the fu*king weeds, laying down. He comes over, he says, "What are you doing?" I says, "I'm resting." "Here, you're resting? There ain't no fu*king beach in the park!" "I'm resting. I know I'm resting. I'm resting." They pull me in, they start asking all kinds of questions, you know, this and that? He says, you know, "So what are you going to tell us, tough guy?" I said, "My usual. Zero. Nothing. Why tell you?" The fu*k. He says, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something. Go fu*k your mother." Bing, pow, boom, ping. You saw the paper, Anthony. My head was out like this. The pr**k. So now I'm coming around, you know, I started to come out of it and who do I see in front of me? This big pr**k again. He says, "What do you want to tell me now, tough guy?" I said, "Bing, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to go fu*k your mother?" I thought he was gonna sh*t. Pow, ping, boom. The fu*kers. See? I wish I was big just once.

Henry Hill

You're really Funny. You're really funny.

Tommy DeVito

What do you mean, I'm funny?

Henry Hill

It's... it's funny, you know. It's a good story. You're a funny guy.

Tommy DeVito

You mean the way I talk? What?

Henry Hill

It's just, you know. You're just... you're funny. You know, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy DeVito

Funny how? What's funny about it?

Tony

Tommy, you got it all wrong.

Tommy DeVito

Whoah, Anthony. He's a big boy. He knows what he said. What did you say? Funny, how?

Henry Hill

Just...

Tommy DeVito

What?

Henry Hill

Just, you know. You're funny.

Tommy DeVito

You mean... let me understand this. Maybe I'm a little fu*ked up, maybe. But, I'm funny, how? I mean, funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fu*king amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How am I funny?

Henry Hill

Just... you know, how you tell a story. What?

Tommy DeVito

No, no, I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fu*k am I funny? What the fu*k is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny.

Henry Hill

Get the fu*k out of here, Tommy.

Tommy DeVito

Motherfu*ker! I almost had him! I almost had him! You stuttering pr**k, you! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Clip 3

Telling Tommy to go home and get his shine box isn't just going to result in an argument. It's going to result in you being buried in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night.

Billy Batts

Hey, I know you all my life.

Tommy DeVito

All right, good.

Billy Batts

You're getting too big on me, now.

Tommy DeVito

Just don't go busting my balls, Billy, okay?

Billy Batts

Hey, Tommy, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your shine box. This kid... this kid was great. They used to call him "Spitshine Tommy." I swear to God, he'd make your shoes look like fu*king mirrors. Excuse my language. He was terrific. He was the best. He made a lot of money, too. Salute, Tommy.

Tommy DeVito

No more shines, Billy.

Billy Batts

What?

Tommy DeVito

I said no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it. You've been away a long time. They didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore.

Billy Batts

Relax will you, for crying out loud? What's... what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with you.

Tommy DeVito

Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know. There's a lot of people around.

Billy Batts

I'm only kidding with you. We're having a party, I mean, I just came home. I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breaking your balls. And right away, you're getting fresh? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Tommy DeVito

I'm sorry, too. It's okay. No problem.

Billy Batts

Okay, salute. Now go home and get your fu*king shine box.

Tommy DeVito

Motherfu*king mutt! You, you... fu*king piece of sh*t!...

[TOMMY loses his sh*t and begins screaming at BILLY]

Clip 4

It's a card game. Friendly. Right up until Spider neglects to include Tommy in a round of drinks. At that point, things go south pretty damned fast. Spider's shot himself in the foot. Sort of.

Tommy DeVito

What am I? A mirage?

Spider

What?

Tommy DeVito

What? Where's my fu*king drink? I asked you for a drink.

Spider

You wanted a drink?

Tommy DeVito

I just asked you for a fu*king drink.

Spider

Nah, I thought... I thought you said that, "you're all right, Spider."

Tommy DeVito

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. What've you got me on a fu*king pay-no-mind list, kid?

Spider

No, I heard... I thought I heard someone say "Something, Spider, Spider. I thought... I thought it was Henry."

Tommy DeVito

You're a fu*king mumbling, stuttering little fu*k, you know that?

Spider

I thought you said, "I was all right, Spider."

Tommy DeVito

You ain't all right, Spider. You got a fu*king problem.

Spider

No, I thought you said, &quout; You were all right, Spider."

Tommy DeVito

I am all right! You ain't all right, you little fu*king pr**k.

Spider

I thought, I thought...

Tommy DeVito

I thought, I thought... You've been doing this all fu*king night to me, you motherfu*ker!

Spider

He wants a drink now? I'll bring it.

Tommy DeVito

Go get me a fu*king drink! Move it, you little pr**k. You walk like fu*king Stepin Fetchit. For everybody else you run. Run for me, you pr**k! Dance, dance the fu*king drink back here, you little pr**k! What's that movie that Bogart made?

Anthony Stabile

Which one?

Tommy DeVito

The one where he played a cowboy.

Anthony Stabile

The Oklahoma Kid.

Tommy DeVito

Oklahoma kid! Oklahoma Kid, that's me! I'm the Oklahoma kid, you fu*king varmint. Dance! Dance! Yahoo, you motherfu*ker! Round up... round up those fu*king wagons.

[TOMMY begins shooting in SPIDER'S direction]

Clip 5

Is there ANYBODY that Tommy doesn't have a problem with? Is there ANYBODY that Tommy wouldn't shoot? Apparently not. Even his own mother had better watch her mouth!

Stacks Edwards

What time is it?

Tommy DeVito

It's eleven thirty, we're supposed to be there by nine.

Stacks Edwards

Be ready in a minute.

Tommy DeVito

Yeah, you were always fu*kin' late, you were late for your own fu*kin' funeral.

[TOMMY shoots STACKS repeatedly with a suppressed weapon]

Clip 6

Hands up if you, too won't fly without your lucky hat. Because Lois Byrd sure as sh*t won't fly without her lucky hat. No matter what Henry says, she just won't do it. And that's final.

Lois Byrd

I got to go home.

Henry Hill

What do you mean, you got to go home? I've been carrying around this stuff all day. We got to start taping it to your leg. We got to go soon.

Lois Byrd

I got to go home and get my hat.

Henry Hill

Forget your fu*king hat. What, are you kidding me? Just what I need now is a trip to Rockaway because you want to get your hat?

Lois Byrd

I need it, I got to have it. It's my lucky hat. I never fly without it.

Henry Hill

Lois, do you understand what we're involved in here?

Lois Byrd

I don't care. I need my hat. I won't fly without it.

Clip 7

It's all over for Henry. He's joined the Witness Protection Programme. No more violence, no more wads of cash, no more drugs. No more excitement.

Henry Hill (V/O)

Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.