6 MP3 Audio clips from Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

You can always rely on Callahan to speak her mind. And she does this routinely when it comes to Mauser. Who, let's face it, is a world-class ass-kisser.

Commandant Mauser

Oh, Governor. Magnificent speech! Bravo! I applaud you.

[MAUSER and PROCTOR begin to clap. PROCTOR starts whooping]

Sergeant Callahan

Why beat around the bush, Mauser? Just get down on your knees and kiss his ass!

Clip 2

Sarah is shy. Presumably because her mother always does her talking for her. But that's about to change...

Sarah's Mom

Excuse me, sir.

Sergeant Callahan

Ma'am! I'm a ma'am!

Sarah's Mom

I'm sorry. Those guns make it difficult to tell. Are you an instructor?

Sergeant Callahan

Affirmative. Are you a new recruit?

Sarah

Yes, I...

Sarah's Mom

She certainly is. But she's terribly shy. Stand up straight, Sarah. And don't babble. What will the instructor think? Now, just pay attention...

Sergeant Callahan

Stifle it! Don't worry, Sarah. When we're finished with you, you'll have nerves of steel, ice in your veins and a set of brass balls this big.

Clip 3

Sergeant Callahan has striking features. Well, two of them to be precise. And this fact hasn't escaped Cadet Nogata. Clearly.

Sergeant Callahan

You, uh... have impressive moves for a cadet.

Cadet Nogata

Thank you. You see, it's a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom.

Sergeant Callahan

Interesting theory.

Clip 4

Mr. Miller is taking part in an identification parade. He's nervous about pointing the finger at the man responsible. Which frustrates the sh*t out of Chief Hurst.

Chief Hurst

How hard can it be, Miller? Is he there or isn't he?

Mr. Miller

I don't know. He really didn't steal that much. Well, the hospital stay was quite restful. I wish I'd listened to my wife.

Chief Hurst

Oh, for God's sake, Miller, will you take your balls out of your wife's purse and finger the dirt bag?

Clip 5

Mahoney has played another cruel (but very funny) prank on Commandant Mauser, this time removing his eyebrows with the help of some duct tape and Lieutenant Proctor.

Commandant Mauser

Proctor.

Lieutenant Proctor

Yes, sir?

Commandant Mauser

Oh, there you are. Give me a hand with this. Take it off. No, no! Don't go slow. Go fast, so it doesn't hurt.

[PROCTOR rips the tape off MAUSER'S face and he screams in pain]

That hurt. Am I okay?

Lieutenant Proctor

Oh, it's nice. Uh... there's a mirror right here, sir.

Commandant Mauser

I've got no eyebrows. Where are my eyebrows?

Lieutenant Proctor

[Holding the tape containing MAUSER'S eyebrows up for him to see]

Right here, sir.

Clip 6

Cadet Nogata is confused about his feelings for Sergeant Callahan. He needs some advice. Which is where Sergeant Jones might just come in very useful. The love doctor... is about to speak!

Cadet Nogata

I have great confusions about Sergeant Callahan.

Sergeant Jones

Oh! You've come to the right place, brother. Grab yourself a pad and pencil because... the love doctor is about to speak.